Thursday, December 25, 2008

Potential Extreme Dune Rudeness to be examined

Looks like the Town of East Hampton is going after the alleged dune clearing at Ron Baron's estate.
"The East Hampton Town Board has authorized the town to “take any and all action to correct any and all violations” committed on the Further Lane property of Ron Baron, where a protected sand dune was allegedly razed so that a retaining wall could be built."

Happy Holidays!

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Don't let the door hit you on your way out with your fiber smoothie, citidot!

I will say I have been living out in the Hamptons for about 25 years now.  Is it just me or every year do the citiots get stupider?

They do not know how to drive, which many people have already stated so I guess another stupid driver story is as necessary as another Louie Bag Toting Starlet wannabe infesting the area.  But I will say the best to date is the follows:

I work in Amagansett and I was going to Mary's Marvelous to grab my coffee and oatmeal as I do every morning - granted in the summer you want to chew on a bullet than wait on line behind someone trying to pick out their smoothie selections but they really do have such a great staff and great food so you smile and grit your teeth - I was walking with a co-worker behind a couple who was discussing how the locals are so rude etc. and how we think that we are better than they are... blah blah blah  WHILE they are having this intriguing discussion I guess they did not realize that they cut off a woman with her stroller trying to get up the stairs.

The man made it look like he was going to open the door for her (which is why we didn't ) His mate then walked in BEFORE the woman and the STROLLER and instead of holding the door for her - HE WALKED IN AND LET THE DOOR SLAM!!!!

We were in disbelief - grabbed the door helped her with the stroller and get in the door.  When we got in the couple was still complaining of the locals. Ahh how much longer until Columbus day??????

Thanks for letting me vent!


Monday, September 1, 2008

Do You Have A Problem?

I'm driving out of Citarella, via the exit as one should. As I'm pulling out and making sure I don't run anyone over on the sidewalk in rolls a giant SUV.

Waving my hands, Captain America rolls down his window and says, "What's your problem?"

"You're coming in the exit," I respond comely.

Captain America responds, "Do you expect me to drive around the corner?"

Next time I'm going to put the car in park and call the cops. Enough is enough!

- Park and Dial 911

Sunday, August 31, 2008

How to Recession Proof Your Coffee Shop Business

Saturday Aug 30. Labor Day Weekend.

I go into Java Nation like I've been doing pretty much every day. I know everyone that works there & has worked there. I have a thermos which grants me a small discount on a cup of coffee there.

Every day it's $1.00, regardless of who's working.

But today one of the owners (pretty obvious which one since the other one is cool as shit) told me $1.75. I actually had only brought four quarters with me, so I had to bring up the discrepancy.

The owner got mad with me about disputing the price & took my coffee out of my hand & tossed it into the sink, handed me back my empty thermos, & yelled GET OUT & pointed to the door.

I really wasn't going to force the issue and was about to ask her if I can bring her the 75 cents next time, since I'm in there everyday but by that time she was already wasting my coffee down the sink.

My suggestion is f*ckin hire somebody so she don't have to be behind the counter cuz that sh!t isn't working.

- Devoted Java Nation Customer

Friday, August 29, 2008

Bitch, Party of Seven

My wife and I head to a local restaurant tonight to enjoy a nice end of the summer dinner. In we go and we're behind a lady and five of her small children. We're probably talking under eleven years old.

Momma asks the hostess if their table is ready.

No table under her name, the hostess reads off all the parties of seven waiting. No luck.

"Well my husband put his name in and you said to come back in 10-15 minutes."

"Oh yes now I remember, that was at 6:25, it's 7:10, sorry we had to give your table away. I can put your name back in but it's a 45 minute wait for a party of that size."

"Bitch" says momma as she walks out with her family.


- The Editor

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Even the Rude Hamptons Editor Can Be Rude

A while back I got an email saying RheRudeHamptons editor loved my story about the idiot in Hess (the bottle opener she wanted to "borrow") and offered me a bumper sticker.  Although I have seen these bumper stickers around, like la superica,etc.,

I never got mine.

Is that rude, or what?

- Martha

Yes it slipped through the cracks, but rest assured three bumper stickers are in the mail tomorrow. - The Editor

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Yes really means no in the Hamptons

TO ALL of my Hamptons fair-weather friends......

I just want you to know that I think it was so incredibly rude that most of those who were invited did not show up at my boyfriends birthday bash this past weekend. I am wondering why people think it's socially acceptable to say "I'll try/will do my best to make it" when invited to a party! This is what so many people said even though I called them 3 weeks in advance. OK, I know, it's the Hamptons and on August weekends there are zillions of things to do. We all know you guys are keeping your options open so that if something better comes along, you will certainly attend that instead of our party, but optimistically we still planned for just about everyone to come. (Unless there is some formula or rule of thumb for Hamptons parties that we just don't know about?????)
How about this next time:  upon being invited to a party, unless you give a firm and resolute YES, why not instead say "I just can't make it". Period.  And if nothing better comes along, you can then show up at our party - hey, surprise us - and be gracious and bring a bottle. This way we don't get stuck with food for 60 when only 20 show up, and get stuck with the enormous cost of the food, booze and two helpers like we just were. Better to be short on food but have enough booze for these non-committal types, huh!
PS: For my next party - it's a bag of chips and a jar of salsa. Expect nothing else but I will never skimp on the booze. Hey, we have enough liquor now for 3 more parties, I am trying to look at the bright side of things!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- Bathing In Liquor

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Don't Try This In The High Speed E-ZPass Lane

This story came in as a comment and is worth pointing out.

Thanks Obama Girl!
Yep and there’s the woman who blew through the ticket machine today, same spot, slams on the brakes, jumps out of the car, runs back to the ticket machine & yanks the ticket out…. out & out STEALS the ticket from the next woman who had just gone over the speed bump to produce the ticket. All the while, woman #1 is holding her hand out like “don’t hit me” and “wait”.

If she’d done it to me, we would have each had a a 1/2 ticket. I especially love the hand out, likes she’s directing traffic to stop while she puts the world on hold because she’s a dumbass. I CANNOT wait for Labor Day. Send these privileged idiots back home.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Seeking the wet look on Newtown Ln

I was on Newtown Lane turning into the parking by Waldbaums. I was in the turn lane and I looked over because everyone was going around something. When I looked over I saw a man standing in the middle of the right lane spraying ArmorAll on his tires. His car was parked on the side of the street.

I just started laughing because I have never seen something so ridiculous. People started beeping, but he kept spraying his tires.

- M

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Where are your manners Panama Jacka$$?

I'm married to a local, who grew up in Springs. We live in Florida now and visit family about twice a year. Summers are exciting for me, torture for him. I drag him into the village all the time for some people watching.

One morning I decided to venture out on my own with my daughter in her stroller. We were hungry and walked up to the Golden Pear on Newtown. As I approached the door (and step) a man dressed in a white, all linen suit jumped in front of me, whipped open the door, and walked right in. Leaving the door to slam in my face.

Forgetting all decorum I yelled after him, "What the F***!??"

A local, had to be a local, noticed and shook his head and helped me through the door and even helped get the stroller up! I was so baffled...I felt like I was in another where they ignore women!

- Jenny

I immediately thought of the Panama Jack guy when I read this story. - The Editor

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Cucumber Caper at the new Zabar Amagansett Farmers Market

I am a cashier at the new Amagansett Farmers Market (now owned by Eli Zabar, the food is pretty good) and I am happy to report that most people have been quite courteous to me, considering that I am working a cash register alone and quite young.

Today, however, I was checking my prices with the price guide, when a woman yelled at me for pricing her four cucumbers incorrectly. It was said on the guide that cucumbers were $1.49/lb. As the cucumbers were relatively light, this figured out to about $1.20 each. The woman screamed that I was ripping her off, and claimed that a sign outsides called cucumbers 99 cents each. I had already swiped her credit card, and said that it was too late for that.

She refused to leave and asked to see Eli himself. I offered her $1.25 out of my own pocket but she refused, on a crusade to correct this "fallacy."

I asked her to get out of this shop right now, I have other people to service. I showed her the math on paper, and she couldn't deny I was right. I did not give her anything. She left in a huff, and people were switching to the other line throughout.

One man in the back stayed, simply to say to me "what a bitch."; This is my favorite man in the world. I hope he sees this.

- The Cashier

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Conscience Point Inn Amagansett

I live on Montauk Hwy in Amagansett. It is a well known busy road. I have a fairly big drive way, so it is used all the time by people turning around. We don't mind, so it doesn't bother us.

The other day I was in my house when I heard a car pull in. I thought it was one of my family members coming home. I looked out the window and noticed a black Mercedes parked halfway in my driveway, and half sticking out in the road. They way she was parked, she was blocking the driveway from anyone else pulling in, and I was expecting people home at any moment.

Another woman appears with her bike. I assumed that the woman with the bike had a flat tire or something, and called a friend to pick her up. Instead of loading the bike up, and leaving, they proceed to have a chat and laughing. I noticed cars heading west had to swerve towards oncoming traffic to avoid hitting these two woman.

I go to the front door, and say nicely to them, is everything all right.

"Yes, we are fine." They go back to their conversation.

I say, "if you need to you can pull all the way in to load the bike in the car, so you are not close to the street."

They proceed to say, "no it is okay."

I tell them that I am expecting people home any minute and they won't be able to pull into the driveway.

They look at me like I have two heads. "We are just talking we will leave in a few minutes, what is the big deal?"

I am a little shocked. I said nicely, "I just don't want to see anyone get into an accident." They rolled their eyes at me, and I just walked back into my house. It wasn't like I went out there threatening to call the police if they didn't get off my property.

A woman was hit pulling into her driveway on this road down the street, so that is why I was concerned.

- The Driveway Bouncer

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Please Play Frogger with me on Route 27

I check this website all the time in the summer. I finally have a story that I just had to post. I have lived out here for half my life, and went to the schools. So, I know what the summers are like, and I begin my Labor Day countdown when Memorial Day is over.

I work at a beverage store in East Hampton. We get our share of the weird people in the summer. One guy even asked me, "How many bottles are in a case of 12?" Another one asked, "Is the beer in the cooler cold?" So you get an idea of what we deal with.

Yesterday was a usual Friday in the summer. I was waiting on people and my co-workers were working hard in putting their orders together. A woman was next in line comes up to the counter. She had on one of the typical tourists hats on, and had a French accent.

The conversation went like this:

French Woman: "Do you deliver?"

Me: "Yes, we do. Monday through Friday."

French Woman: I am staying across the street. Will you be able to bring my order there?"

Me: "Yes, but we also have a ten case minimum. But, for a same day delivery, you have to have your order placed by 11am."

French Woman: (Gives me a deer in the headlights look) But it is just right
across the street."

Me: "Yes, I know Madame. I am sure something might be able to be worked out for you, but the delivery man is out on deliveries, and I cannot ask him right now."

French Woman:(Sighs and rolls her eyes at me) "Well, how long is he going to be out?"

Me: "I am not sure, most likely not until 4:30 or 5."

French Woman: "Well can someone walk over with me to the hotel? I don't have a car. I can't carry that much stuff because I have a baby in a stroller?"

Me: "I am sorry madame we will not be able to do that."

(She is starting to roll her eyes again.)

French Woman: "Why not it is just right across the street?"

Me: "Yes, I know but it is not possible. It is a very busy road. It would be too dangerous for the him to take a heavy handtruck across the street. Also, it is very hot outside. It is a question of safety."

By now one of my co workers has come up to the counter and was listening to the conversation. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. She finally walks away after telling me that she will just get a few things then. She walks around the store for ten minutes. I wanted to know where is the baby in the stroller she was talking about. After she paid and left, we were talking about it, and sure hoped she didn't leave the child outside alone in this heat. After she left, we all said "What is with these people?"

From the people I see, it seems that when you have a lot of money, you loose your common sense.

Can't wait until Labor Day!

- St. Pauli Girl

In case you aren't hip to the videogame Frogger, check out this Seinfeld clip - The Editor

Friday, August 1, 2008

Yes I Am Better Than You

I was volunteering at a Hampton event today. It wasn't open to the public yet, but someone who apparently thinks he is "Steven Seagal," above the law, comes into the event and proceeds to wonder around.

Another volunteer stops him and asks, "can I help you?"

"Steven" replied, "I'm just looking around."

The volunteer replied, "I'm sorry you need to come back when we are open to the public."

At this point the conversation escalates back and forth. "Steven" replied, "I spend thousands of dollars to come out here every year and I feel I'm entitled to have a preview of the event."

The volunteer replied, "you and everyone else in this town. What makes you think you are so special?"

"Steven" asks, "are you saying you're better than me?"

The volunteer replied, "I'm not saying that at all, all I'm saying is that I'm in charge and I'm asking you to leave."

"Steven" replied, "so you're saying you're word is better than mine?"

The insanity continued, it could have been a Seinfeld episode.

Seeing there was no resolution to the insanity, the volunteer had to walk away.

- Vicky The Volunteer

Thursday, July 31, 2008

Keep Your Chalk Off My Wheels Dude!

I'm a TCO (traffic control officer) in the village of East Hampton and I live here year round. I probably have tons of stories i could post on here but one comes to mind right now. One day at work I was marking Newtown Ln.  (otherwise known as Newton Lane by the tourists) and I marked the tire of a Mercedes. The owner proceeded to come up to me and the conversations went like this....

Owner: "Did you have to do that? I just paid $20 for a car wash."

Me: "Yes I did have to mark your tire"

Owner: "That's ridiculous who told you to mark it?"

Me: "My supervisor"

Owner: "Well that's BS"

At this point I just walked away because I couldn't believe he yelled at me for marking his tire with removable chalk. Aren't your tires made to get dirty?

- Dirty Harry

A Snubbing at Starbucks

Alright, so I'm at the Bridgehampton Starbucks and I'm waiting in line to get my drink, and this woman in a flimsy-looking white sundress that was way too short, complete with large hat and sunglasses proceeds to the counter, completely cutting me off.  I proceed to glare at the back of her head, but I don't say anything. 

While we're waiting for the baristas to finish up what they were doing she turns around and asks me "Did you order?" 

So I say, "No, I'm waiting."  She looks at me for a second then just turns around and stays there.

Then, after I get my beverage I sit down to study and her idiot kid proceeds to run around the store screaming.


- HG

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Recent Rude Hamptons Feedback

One site can take care of all the rude people...and then some.


I live in the Hamptons year round, and every summer we're invaded with tourists! Not all of them are bad, but most are arrogent, rude and impatient. It is impossible driving through town because the summer people are impatient and annoying. It would be so much nicer in the summer without the rude summer

- HS

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Above The Law In East Hampton

So I'm driving out of the Reutershan parking lot at the Main Street exit. The exit is clearly marked right turn only as this street gets completely packed during the summer.

There's a TCO (traffic control officer) right there directing traffic making sure pedestrians aren't run down.

A BMW two cars in front of me proceeds to ignore the sign and drives straight across Main Street.

4 lanes of packed traffic!

The TCO starts yelling at the driver. "You can't do that."

The driver just waves and ignores him.

Too bad TCOs can't writing moving violation tickets or shoot to kill.

- Local Driver

Pestilent Man-Child and His Toy Horn

Last night for some unknown, but more than likely important to him, reason a man driving his dark BMW found it necessary to sit on his horn as he drove down Newtown Lane.

Where's a TCO armed with a Tazer when you need them?

- Perplexed

Monday, July 14, 2008

Georgi Vodka Beats Ketel One In Blind Taste Test

As a second job, I work as a Bartender on the weekends for private parties; mostly serving up easy mixed drinks like cosmos and Pinot Grigio to guests who are generally pleasant, friendly and in a good mood. But last Saturday, I bartended for a party that had 2 guests (a couple) who, when they walked into the garden just beamed high maintenance and nasty vibes.......the black cloud over their heads was so visible you could cut through it with a knife. HE: loudmouth balding middle aged man all dressed in white with lots of gold jewelry. SHE: even louder mouth with a voice from hell that cut through the entire party of about 80 guests, and on the cell phone half the time.

HE: Comes up to my bar and asks for Ketel One on the rocks, where I promptly oblige. Then insists it's not Ketel One, even though I poured it straight from the Ketel One bottle in front of him. So I discard drink and pour him another one, again from Ketel One bottle. Still insists it's not Ketel One and slams drink on the bar. I told him to take it up with the host, this is what I was furnished and other people were waiting for drinks, to please step aside. He storms off.

SHE: comes up to the bar shortly after and asks for one of the most expensive reds the host had placed out, in a glass with lots of ice! Even though I raised my eyebrows, I promptly served it to her. She then told me to make her husband another drink and MAKE IT A KETEL ONE THIS TIME. I offered to go into the host's kitchen, where he had another wet bar and backups for us just in case, and told her would absolutely, positively get Ketel One from the Host's own private bar. I went in there and poured the cheap "Georgi" Vodka on the rocks and brought it over to him; he took one sip and said "now that's the right vodka - and from now on goddammit, when someone tells you it's not the real thing you better listen" and "I'm going to tell **** (the host) how difficult you were to deal with"!

PS: Insult to injury: SHE never even drank that expensive iced down red wine, just kept coming back for "freshen-ups". What a crime, this was $400. a bottle wine.

PPS: Further insult: SHE kept coming back to my bar, turning over my clean glasses and discarding her used toothpicks, shrimp shells and cocktail napkins in them like my bar was a garbage dump.

And they wonder why The Locals are "so difficult to deal with".

- Another Local Yokel Trying to Make a Living off Rude Summer People

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Indiana Jones and the Quest for the Salad Spinner

My friend and I decided to do some shopping in the town of East Hampton last weekend. We went into the General Home Store and we were immediately bumbarded by the obnoxious owner. I said that I was just looking for a simple salad spinner, because our rental house was lacking one. Instead of bringing me straight to the place where the salad spinners were, he decided to give my friend and I a complete tour of the overly crowded store.

Not only was there tons of merchandise, but there was barely any walking space. When we asked him for a salad spinner, it felt like we were shown every product in the store that began with the letter S.

My friend and I kept exchanging looks like, "What is WRONG with this guy?" After almost a half hour of being dragged around the store, and pushed to buy every product, he finally gave us the salad spinner we were looking for (and on top of all this, it was outrageously overpriced).

This man was the most obnoxious person I have ever met and needs to get a grip and realize he's a terrible salesman.

- ED

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Ocean Cellphone Tip

I'm sitting on the beach in Montauk at Gurney's Inn and along comes a woman on her cell phone. She proceeds to stand in front of me blocking my view of the ocean. I understand the beach is free and people can sit and go where they please.

What was so moronic about all of this is she starts yelling into her phone, "I can't hear you, the waves are too loud!"

Here's an idea, walk away from the ocean you citidiot!

- Just trying to relax

Frick and Frack Haze The Starbucks Barista

Every summer my husband and I (and now daughter) take a day trip from our home in Center Moriches to the east end for some beach time, photo opportunities and delicious lobster roll sammies. Last year was no different and part of our trip included an a.m. jolt of caffeine from the Southampton Starbucks. My DH and daughter stayed in the car while I went in and got our drinks. I ordered and went to the counter to receive them when I noticed these 2 men berating the barista while their drinks were being made.

"Is that SOY milk?"

"Did you make that EXTRA HOT?"

Yelling and eye-rolling abounds! I felt so bad for the guy. When they finally got their drinks (and not a thank you to be heard) they stopped at the self serve area. I received my beverages, said my thank you and we shared a momentary I KNOW!! moment about frick and frack.

I wound up leaving the same time as them (and do you THINK they held the door??? Um, NO.) and they saw me getting into our vehicle.

One says to the other. "Look, a Jeep Commander" (they were getting into another Jeep) and the other one goes "Ew, it's an 06!"

Oh, well excuuuuuse us. I'm not sure if they were rude locals or rude tourists but it was just an obnoxious experience to be a witness to.

- LP

Friday, July 11, 2008

How to avoid a Deliverance experience on the backroads

I was driving with my daughter today to meet with our new primary care Dr in Southampton. We're tooling along the back roads to try & save time & avoid traffic. We're making great time for like the 1st half-hour. All of a sudden I see this white car with plastic garbage bags sticking out if it's grille, come zooming up on our butts outta nowhere. The driver and car reminded me of something out of that Beastie Boys video that I can't remember...Sabotage?

Well, we're both watching the side mirrors because he just rides my ass thru all the turns even where there's road construction going on. He would slow down enough to make the road people happy & then floor it right back to my back bumper. By this time, we've both seen "Jeepers Creepers"; and are thinking this is some crazed wacko...we don't dare stop because he's so close.

I wave him on past me so I could get rid of him. God, he seemed so determined to just get wherever the hell redneck crazy wackos hang out in the summer, but he's wearing his Deliverance face & continues to stray over the yellow line & then back on my ass. Fine, follow me all the way to my Dr, but I'm gonna have to hurt you if you hit my car. What a jerk! I felt like Karen Silkwood, waiting to be bumped off the road.

It was more than a little unnerving till I related the story to my honey; he said he knew why we're were being chased down....had to be the Obama '08 bumper sticker. How rude! GO OBAMA '08

- PB

- A simple way to avoid all of this is to cover your Obama sticker with one of our slick RudeHamptons bumper stickers.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Instructions For Weekend Hamptons Drivers

This is a message for all the non drivers that travel on Sunrise (or any other interstate or highway).   I would think people should know this but the left lane is intended for passing vehicles on the right.

At no point ever should anyone stay in the left hand lane.

After you pass someone you get back in the right hand lane. The right side of a vehicle is often considered the"blind spot" .

People shouldn't be passing on the right because it's not as safe as passing on the left.

If you are ever in the left hand lane and someone just passed you on the right.  Take a second; realize that you are the non driver I am referring to and MOVE OVER !!

If you in the left hand lane and you feel someone is tailgating you,  MOVE OVER to the right and realize that you indeed are also a non driver.


Saturday, July 5, 2008

How to get seated faster

My wife and I decided to head to CittaNuova for dinner Thursday night. We sat right near the hostess desk and heard an earful of good times. Most people would not be happy with this table, but we were able to sit quickly and listen to the ensuing fun.

The highlight of the evening was when two women came in and approached the hostess.

"How long for a table?"

Hostess replies nicely, "30-35 minutes."

"Uh, well is there any place else to eat in town?"

Hostess replies nicely, "Well you can walk around, there's Sam's and Rowdy Hall."

"What kind of restaurants are those?"

Hostess again replies nicely as she is busy with real customers, "Italian and American."

Off they go, but right behind them is a couple. He puts their name on the list and is nice to the hostess.

About 10 minutes later the dynamic duo shows back up and asks to put their name on the list. "I'm really hungry."

Hostess, who at this point should tell them they've run out of food, nicely replies, "Sorry, but I can't seat people based on their hunger levels."

They then camped themselves at the gelato case and grabbed a waiter asking if they could have some bread. While this occurred the nice couple who had been behind them on their first visit were promptly seated.

- The Editor

How NOT to ask for directions

Walking down main street in East Hampton (don't ask me why I was dumb enough to even be near the village after Memorial Day.)

I hear honking and then "Hey, HEY!". I turn around and see a BMW, with it's occupants waving at me like they're on fire. I go over to see the emergency and get "What are you, deaf? How do we get to the Maidstone Club?"

After a second of shock I recovered and sent them to Maidstone Park, as far into Springs as possible. They whipped an illegal U Turn and off to Springs they went.

If you ask a local for directions and actually want to get there, ask them nicely.

- L

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Back that A$$ Up and Get Your Gas

As usual, Hess is busy so I navigate towards an end pump and pull up behind someone. There is a person in front of me and next to me is a man filling up his red container with gas.

I figure, whoever gets done first, I'll either pull forward or back up.

The man next to me is done filling up his container so I begin to back up only to realize that there is quite a traffic jam so I keep my car in reverse and stay put. A man pulls up next to me and is eyeing my pump. I still don't back up because he's relatively close to my car and I don't want to hit anything.

The next thing I know, the man is backing up to my bumper. There's no way he could even be able to get gas, it was obviously my spot, he had no room.

So, now there are three cars lined up at two pumps.

We then begin a battle of yelling at each other through our rear view mirrors. "I'M USING IT! I WAS HERE FIRST!" but does he move, no. He just throws his hand out the window and waving it all around. I eventually got out of the car to start filling up and he decided it was time to find another spot.

Because I look young, people try to push me around. It's always "me first" around here. I certainly don't want to get in an accident at a gas station and blow anything up but I also waited my time and looked around.

- EG

The Editor - You can find  Hamptons Gas Prices on TheRudeHamptons -Powered by

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Beware of Ocean Beach Sidlers

I was reading a story from Summer 07 called Down in Front! and it reminded me of when my family and I went to the ocean one day.

We always go early because there are usually at least 15 or 20 of our friends and family.

We go early because there are a lot of kids and we want to sit by the water.

We had all of our stuff out and since there are so many of us we try and take up as little room as possible.

At this point pretty much the whole ocean is empty and these people come and sit right next to us and then walk through all of our stuff and "like" bump into us.

Giving us dirty looks because we had little kids with us.

Why did they have to pick there they had the whole beach to pick from?


The Editor - Sidler is a technical term from an episode of Seinfeld.

Monday, June 2, 2008

Bag of Weed and a Shiv - An Expecting Couple's Weekend Essentials

I've been waiting for my chance to submit something to you...I see things all the time, but there are so many - and, really, so many so trifling - that I've developed a "Teflon" attitude towards ill-bred behavior. But the scenario I'm about to describe took the cake!

I was visiting my relatives in Remsenberg and had to drive into Westhampton Beach to go to Waldbaum's. (Does that qualify as the Hamptons? It did by name only when I was growning up...While Remsenberg, on the other hand, was much more like old-time Southampton.)

As I was waiting outside over Memorial Day weekend, an Escalade SUV came into Waldbaum's and carefully parked diagonally in 2 spots, the drivers describing his, what he considered valid, reason for doing - so as not to get a scratch on his car.

Shortly thereafter a 90+ yr. old man drove into the lot and because there was no other place to park and because he could squeeze his car in beside the SUV, parked there. While the elderly gentleman was in the Waldbaum's, the Escalade owners (renters? of SUV and "summer share?") came out and "what the F***! Can you believe someone F*ing parked right here?? Slash his F*ing tires!!"

The driver actually slashed the older man's tire, and left. Luckily, there was an off duty cop there, watching everything, and called a dispatcher. The police helped the man change his tire and the police caught the tire slashers.

As it turned out, the "people" in the Escalade had a bag of pot in their possession and one of them kicked it under the police car when they were caught. A witness saw the person do it, and so they were arrested for possession and for tire slashing.

But wait, as if all that's not bad enough, there's more likely to be on the way.

The woman in the Escalade was pregnant!!

God help us all. Summer is definitely here!

- PL

The Editor - I wasn't able to verify the story in the local paper - if anyone has a link to the article leave a comment. For more information on shivs - click here

Sunday, June 1, 2008

Honk If You Care

I was trying for a parking spot at CVS to pick-up some medicine this afternoon. Waiting for a spot to open up, finally a SUV pulls out and as I go to pull in a Mercedes comes whipping around into the spot.

The person drove in through the parking lot exit!

Much easier to miss others waiting if you drive in the wrong way.

I honked a few times and they pulled back out. If I hadn't made a scene they probably would have just kept the spot.

- RE

Friday, May 30, 2008

Get your own Rude Hamptons Bumper Sticker

My new shipment of bumper stickers came in so now you can get your own. It's really easy.

1. Submit a rude story with a postal address and I'll send you two. An extra for a friend.

2. Stop by one of my specially designated locations and ask for one.

This week stop by Sams in East Hampton. Be sure to ask for Graham and order a pizza to go.

The Editor

Monday, May 26, 2008

Stiletto Heeled Illegal Dumper

My wife and I were walking to CittaNuova on Sunday night and spied a woman in an expense short dress and 4 inch stiletto heels carrying what seemed to be a bag of trash.

I bet my wife wife five dollars that she was going to throw that out in the trashcans at the Hampton Market Place aka Schmidt's aka Chicken House.

Sure enough she dumps her small bag of trash and sashays back to her felony crib on Church Street.

- The Editor

PS - It is illegal to throw out your household garbage in town or private trash cans.

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Dirty Look or Get It In The Rear

I moved here full-time in January after having worked in Southampton Village last summer.

So I am not a native, but I am a year-round local these days.

So, I'm going to complain like a local.

On the way to the beach today, the Sunday before Memorial Day, I was driving straight north on Springville Road in Hampton Bays when someone trying to cut me off gives me a nasty look.

I had the right of way, this car full of girls decides she was going to make a left right in front of me. When she realized I wasn't stopping to let her go, she stopped half way through her turn, creating an awkward and dangerous traffic situation.

If I did stop to let her go, I probably would have been rear-ended, because it's not like I was at a stop sign or traffic light.

The audacity that she could give me such a disgusted look when she's the one not following traffic laws and risking an accident really pissed me off. And I have a feeling that this will be my first of many incidents with weekenders this summer. Hopefully, none of them end in a collision.

-HB Guy

Friday, May 23, 2008

Assertiveness Training

I am a local from Water Mill but now go to school in the city. I go to Citarella when I'm home and if any of the city people try to cut me I tell them to go fu*k themselves. When I used to live out there full time and work the summer jobs I would take shit like a slave, you locals need to stop bitching and step it up.

All the people who come out there are p*ssies they aren't going to fight you-you just need to let them know.

Cromers is the worst because everyone has a hard time figuring out the rocket science that is line formation- and I always see locals getting pushed around in there then crying about it outside. If you continue to let them keeping cutting you, guess what they are going to just keep cutting they don't give a sh!t.


Local - send me your address and I’ll send you a bumper sticker - The Editor

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Pesky Local Teens Ruin City People's Good Times

So i've lived in East hampton all my life, and I have had my fair share of rude city people over my 15 years.

One day me and all of my friends were standing around in town and there was a party in one of the shops. my friend goes running by and accidentally kicks a glass of wine over. (that was sitting on the curb) I walk by politely and some city person looks over and practically yells how rude the locals were and that I should clean it up...first off we are outside. like what the hell you kidding me?

Also, what annoys the hell out of me, is that city people think that they own us. Sure they may have houses all over the world, but you are no better than us.

You come to OUR town, invade OUR space, respect the locals or you aren't getting anything back.

- Local Girl

Local Girl - send me your address and I'll send you a bumper sticker - The Editor

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Who's really King at King Kullen?

I was in Bridgehampton at King Kullen. It was a Saturday in the middle of the summer...I was standing in line and said something to the cashier like "I need to remember to shop on weekdays instead of the weekends because there are so many people that come here for just the weekend in the summer. I'm just so used to shopping on the weekends like I do in the winter."

And I was just kind of saying it as one local to another.

But then I heard the lady behind me say "Yeah...We (meaning people from the city) really wish you'd shop during the week days too."

I thought she was joking! But when I turned around she was totally serious...! I didn't know what to do! It was ridiculous.

- Sharon

Friday, April 18, 2008

A Nickel For Your Thoughts

Read Heather's post and thought I'd share.

I'm a Sag Harbor native now living in Arizona. Yeah, I wish it was the way it was when we were growing up (for me that would be the late 60s, 70s, and early 80s).

When I was 12, I worked at a farm stand on the highway in Sagaponack. (This was about 1979 or 1980.) Every Sunday the highway was crammed wtih traffic going back to the city. We had a lot of business on Sundays.

One day a woman bought a bunch of produce. About ten minutes later she returned to the stand, stood in front of me, and uncurled her hand, which held a nickel.

I didn't get it, but being a polite young (country) boy, I asked her if could help her. "You shortchanged me a nickel," she said, delivered in an intonation which suggested I'd committed an offense on a par with running over one of her children in the street.

Some things have never changed out there, Heather. Just the good things.

Scott S.

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

The Effect of Citidiot-flation on the Kids

Hi my name is Heather.

I was born and raised out here in East Hampton and I got to say it gets worse and worse every summer. I swear people just get even more mean every year. I hate it here but then again I love it, it's where I grew up, it's hard being away from home. The people that come out here in the summer think we owe them something like we have to kiss the ground they walk on and it makes me sick.

I'm a person just like the rest of you.

The "city people" and "Jersey people" and celebrities that come out here should respect us locals just like we respect them. I want things to be back to the way they use to be when my parents were growing up. I can't stand all of these people. If only people knew what kids have to deal with out here and what locals have to deal with out here then maybe more people would have respect for us.

Kids can't do ANYTHING out here.

It's 50 dollars to go to the bowling ally it's 10.50 for a movie. I don't know I just figured I'd share that.

- Heather

Saturday, March 29, 2008

Spring Cleaning Underway

I'm currently upgrading my blog platform software as well as playing with the layout and format to get ready for this 2008 Hamptons summer season.

With the economy tanking and Wallstreet reeling from the credit crunch there is bound to be a high level of rudeness.

Stay tuned and send in your stories!!

The Editor