Friday, December 25, 2009

Naked and Seen at Gurney's Inn

I was enjoying a nice Christmas Eve dinner at Gurney's Inn while at a another table sat a large party with two young children.

Please note I've raised two children personally and I like kids, but....

When the father proceeded to change the little girl into her pajamas at the table in the restaurant down to her diapers I thought that was crossing the line. I realize children are no longer seen and not heard, but simply leaving the dining room to change clothes would be something simple and easy.

- The Nudist

Monday, November 23, 2009

Grumpy Granny's Handler Asleep At The Walker

I am surprised that the website has such an East/Southampton bent.  I am in WHB and while it does not carry the cache of the two other towns, it surely shares equally in denizen rudeness.

Ground Zero for this behavior is the Beach Bakery.  While Simon is a nice guy and the people behind the counter are great, they need a lesson in work flow and layout.  I won't explain in too much detail. The main issue is any semblance of a line starts deep in the store and people walking in the door fail to recognize this and feel they are next to be served by virtue of being closest to the register (I guess).

One day I worked my way through the line and was surely the next to get the young servers attention. A woman and her mother were milling around and peering in the cases.  When the  call came out for next, the older woman barked out "right here."  Not only was she cutting me (she was physically behind me) she was failing to acknowledge others that surely she had to have seen.  I pointed out politely that I believe I was next.  She turned with venom, "well, you didn't speak up!"

I countered, "Frankly Ma'am you did not give me the chance nor should it have been necessary."

The daughter knowing her mother was wrong dissuaded her from retorting but given the gleam and that old woman's eye, I knew it was going to be flavorful.  I thought of lowering myself to her level for the sheer joy of the verbal beat down but the daughter gave an apologetic look.  I was only buying pastries but this poor woman had to manage her mother day in and day out.


Saturday, September 5, 2009

Horny Older Woman In Her Lexus - WATCH OUT

This was absolutely the CRAZIEST thing I have ever seen a city driver do (I say city because the car was from Lexus of Manhattan).

I was entering Waldbaums when I heard sustained honking growing nearer. I looked around and the perpetrator came into view. An older woman was driving towards the stop sign (really fast actually) and laying on her horn.

I thought "Perhaps a maniac enemy cut her break lines"...


Not at all... because she did slam on her breaks as she neared the stopped car. This was a Friday afternoon and the car was making a left on Newtown... NOT an easy or quick maneuver.

As she is stopped behing him, she CONTINUES to lay on her horn... which is now causing EVERYONE to stop in their tracks and stare. No one could believe it.

The best part was that the person in front of her got really intimidated so they started trying to inch out... so she (barely) passed them on the right, almost ran over a few pedestrians and turned (STILL HONKING).

Now, where were all of those wonderful EH police officers then?

I get pulled over for doing 35 in a 30!

- K

Friday, September 4, 2009

Hamptons Tweeters, not tweakers

No we're not taking about meth users, that would be tweaker.

Blog Hamptons has put together a directory of various Hamptons Twitter accounts.

Definitely worth checking out.

- The Editor

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Idiot moonlighting as crossing guard at Bridgehampton Commons

Driving through the Bridgehampton Commons parking lot, you (obviously) always have to be on the lookout for pedestrians...especially ones who don't use the crosswalks.

I was driving past Rite Aid and a woman started crossing. Naturally, I stopped for her to cross. Then, she put her hands up like a crossing guard to stop me and started saying something. Confused, I rolled down my window and asked her if she was talking to me...

She says: "You know, pedestrians have the right of way, especially in this parking lot." In the absolute rudest tone I've ever heard! (and I've seen a lot of tourists act particularly rude to people out here)

My daughter, who was sitting in the back seat, and I couldn't stop laughing while she quickly and angrily walked away.

Come on lady! It's not like I hit you or even got close to hitting you for that matter. The "especially" in this parking lot? is really the part that I found totally ridiculous. Haha, What?!

- Hannah

Directions to Sagg Main Beach

Bonackers 'givin it back!!!! On Sunday, I witnessed the following exchange on Bridge Lane in Sagaponack:

3 Douchebags in a flashy convertible stop near an old Bonacker and his wife who were crabbing on Sagg Bridge - one of them shouts, "hey, tell us the way to Sagg Main Beach" (by the way, without a "please" or a "Sir, can you help us out").

Old Bonacker gives them a long drawn-out look and then a snort, and says "OK, first you TURN AROUND AND THEN YOU GO THE HELL BACK WHERE YOU CAME FROM - that's the way to Sagg Main Beach."

The look on their faces: Priceless.

Made the end of my Summer!

- Sis 'Boom Bonacker

Friday, August 28, 2009

You're not at Starbucks

I was getting my hair styled this morning at Special Effects, when a lady came in to have her hair blow-dried. She asked how much it would cost and was told $40.

To that she started to complain at the expense, which was greeted with you can always go someplace else.

She decided that she wanted her blowdry and proceeded to sit down in one of wash station chairs.

At this point nobody was ready to wash her hair and another stylist needed the station for her client. She asked her to move nicely and the lady said, "You've got to be kidding, I'm not moving and while you're at it get me a cup of coffee."

Are you kidding me?

- Paul Mitchell

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Three card check monte at the Copa Wine Bar

Curbed Hamptons must be attracting some rude stories, check out this great example of customer service at the Copa Wine Bar.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Bonac duo to the rescue at the Getty Station

The Hampton Jitney story had me thinking, and reminded me of an event that occurred the weekend after Memorial Day.  An event that was so unpleasant I didn't even want to bother typing it out.

My husband and I went to the Georgica Getty Station to get fuel, and since our truck is a diesel we situated ourselves on the outside pump closer to the road.  A citiot was parked on the inside with a black car that had Manhattan plate frames, and since it was a busy day he obviously got boxed in.  Blocking his way was a small girl with her little car, and she backed in in front of him and an attendant started pumping her gas.

When she backed in, the Citiot was getting ready to leave.. so when he realized he was boxed in he came walking right up to her car and started yelling.

"HOW STUPID ARE YOU? I WANT TO GO AND I WANT TO GO NOW! LET ME OUT NOW, YOU STUPID etc etc" The douche yelled into her window and cursing ensued while the poor girl sat inside her car with her hands over her face. My husband was inside paying for our fuel at the time, but since I saw it I was obligated to climb halfway out of my window and let the fellow know "That girl is a LADY!  And if you continue to speak to her that way I will shove that gas nozzle so far up your (ass) you will be tasting gasoline your entire way home to Manhattan!"

Of course I got the usual "You redneck white trash!  This is none of your business!"  so I replied "It's ALWAYS EVERYONES business when you are verbally attacking a lady who is only half your age if that.  Act an adult, get in your car, and never show your face here again!"

At that point my husband came out and joined me, and heard my words, looked at the girl, looked at the man, and started walking towards him.  He RAN for his car and locked it up, and the guy behind him actually backed up out of his way
so he could back up and get out of there.

Moral of the story: If you see someone doing someone else wrong, and you know it in your gut.. do NOT hesitate to step in, ever.  Yeah, they'll curse you out and/or tell you to mind your own business... but too many locals are too passive to stand up for themselves when a tourist/second homeowner/anyone else chooses to bully them. It should never be that way.  It feels scary at first, but the satisfaction that comes afterwards is well worth it, especially when you see the gratitude on the victims face.

Stand up, never let these summer people bully you or anyone else. We locals are not submissive servants, we are all humans. Bonackers built this town and we got nothing in return but pain and aggravation. One person deserves just as much respect and backup as the next, no matter how rich or poor.

- Liz

Friday, August 7, 2009

A Prick's Guide To Seating On The Jitney

So it was a quiet night on the Jitney back to Manhattan on Tuesday night.

In East Hampton a pretty (and clearly pregnant) lady in a flowing white dress gets on the Jitney.  She settles in, puts her bags up top, and relaxes.  Right before we got to Southampton she went to the rest room leaving her water bottle on her seat.  Mind you her luggage was above her seat in the overhead bin.

This was her seat.

This "typical" couple gets on the bus and since we are in Southampton not a lot of double seats are available.  Normally 2 people would split up as it's understood they are on a crowded bus and they are getting on at the last stop OR they would ask someone if they are willing to move so they can sit together.  It's not common or acceptable to just take someone's seat and toss their water bottle on the floor.  This is what happened.

The guy was oozing with "prick" attitude.  "Who's sitting here.  Is someone sitting here?"  The lady behind said "Yes, someone is sitting there".  "Well where are they?".  "In the bathroom".  He replies with, "Well maybe they should not have left, I can't tell anyone was sitting here."

So the couple sits down, puts the water bottle on the floor and the pregnant lady comes back to her seat and calmly says that she was sitting there.

He put on his tough guy prick voice and said, "Hey, are you flying solo".

She was like, "That's my seat, you can't just take it; that's rude."

He replied with, well you're a single and I'm part of a couple and we want to sit together so if you wouldn't mind moving (as if he gave her a choice).

She was visibly upset and then the blond bitchy other half of the couple responds with, "You are over-reacting.  This is not rude.  We are trying to sit together so you can just sit somewhere else."  It was so dismissive and condescending.

It was literally the lamest thing I've ever seen in my many years of coming to the Hamptons in the summers.  People around were shocked about the bastardized and entitled behavior of the couple.  They stole a seat from a pregnant lady and then made her feel like she was weird for wanting it back.

And FYI, she wasn't technically flying solo.  She is carrying a baby..........So it's 2 on 2 - not 2 on 1.  And props to the pregnant lady because she was so cool and refined about the whole situation.  She asked for her water to be picked up off the floor and she took another seat and made no big deal about it.  That's class and that doesn't happen often.

Fyi to the couple - what you did was rude.  Clearly you checked your conscience with your fake LV luggage under the bus.

I was lucky enough to pick a tweet up from our friends at Guest of a Guest and Doug was kind enough to send me the full story - The Editor

FYI to the couple on the Jitney who took a pregant woman's seat while she was in the bathroom and then told her to go elsewhere...thats F'ed

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Stupid Pedestrian Trick in East Hampton

Today I was driving Southeast on Newtown.

Traffic was moving, there was a green light and no one in the crosswalk.  As I got to the entrance to the parking lot behind Village Hardware, a woman walks straight out in front of me, and then proceeds to scream at me to slow down because she's crossing the street!!!

I yelled right back that there's a "novel invention called the crosswalk" and she should be in it.

She's glaring at me and tells me that I have to stop for pedestrians - to which I answered "not if you're not in the crosswalk".


What IS wrong with these people????

- Gail

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

New Asshat SUV driving technique spotted in Wainscott

A new and very dangerous driving technique employed by a massive SUV at the stoplight in Wainscott :

SUV is fourth in line at light.

Light turns green.

SUV pulls out of line into left turn lane and floors it and goes straight and becomes first in line of traffic.

Best part of this -  SUV ends up behind huge slow moving truck.

Priceless !


Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Tomatoes, chicken salad, flowers, and cookies might be priceless

What is really rude in the Hamptons is the audacity of the prices charged at Round Swamp Farm in East Hampton.

For $ 66.08, I bought 3 tomatoes, 3 small containers of chicken salad, a bouquet of local flowers, and 5 cookies.

Never again !!!!!

- P

It's widely accepted that Round Swamp isn't the cheapest place to shop, but much of the product is local - The Editor

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Good Thing She Doesn't Want Half A Puppy

Someone shared this story with me in the village today:

I'm in the pizza parlor and I watch an older lady with kid walk upto the counter and orders half a slice of pizza. She only has $1.97 on her and wants only half a slice.

The pizza guy tells her, "sorry we don't sell half slices, you can buy a whole one."

She replied, "I only have $1.97."

Pizza guy, "well you can buy a whole slice on your credit card."

She replied, "I don't want to charge it."

This goes on four times as she keeps coming up and asking. The Pizza Guy finally breaks down.

- The Editor

Sunday, July 19, 2009

No Cash, No Carry in Sag Harbor

So, I decided to get out early on Saturday morning to do some yard saling. Me and my sister ran into Noyak Deli in Sag Harbor to get breakfast. We ordered and were just standing around waiting for it to be ready.

A little later, two young college dropout looking guys go up to the counter with five or six cases of beer and start yelling at the cashier because the store doesn't take ATM Cards and they have no other way of payment.

Me and my sister were actually scared to go get our breakfasts on the counter once they were ready because of how angry these guys were getting.

It's not the cashier's fault they don't take ATM Cards! And it's not like there's anything they can do about it. You don't have money? Sucks for you! Yelling will not make an ATM Machine suddenly appear so chill out and enjoy your vacation in the Hamptons.

- Hannah

Saturday, July 18, 2009

The Crying Game of Hamptons Liquor

Our blog friends, GuestofaGuest, tipped us off to a Page Six WE HEAR . . . article that a few Hamptons restaurants are under investigation over refilling high end booze with the rot gut brands. I guess law enforcement never read our story from last summer, Georgi Vodka Beats Ketel One In Blind Taste Test, where some asshat actually thought Georgi Vodka was Ketel One.

Good to know that some restaurants don't do such terrible things.

- The Editor

Friday, July 17, 2009

How to protect yourself from being sodomized by your customers

Warning to all pool companies out there...if someone from Springwood Lane in East Hampton calls you to start pool yourself a favor and forget it. Mr. Non-Stereotypical Summer Gay Man is looking to simply bounce from pool company to pool company without paying! This piece of crap had me open his pool late June, with a winter cover so threadbare that it resembles a frock he might wear (had it been custom-fit).

Two weeks later, house is rented (for big $$$ he tells me, of course it is). The pool is clear, but continues to be a chartreuse green.

Why, you ask?

Because this dildo keeps putting the hose in the pool from a location that is not filtered, after being repeatedly told that he should NOT do that because the unfiltered water from his well, contains metals (you can see the rust shoot out of the hose into the pool), it reacts with the pool chemicals & look...a green pool.

Next, asswipe decides my bill "is too high" (he had given me a bad credit card to process and guess what, it came back - DECLINED!!!)

Oh, and he had hired me because he didn't need to have "sexy young Latino men parading around his homosexual home".  But then proceeds to make complaints & excuses (after the pool is open and billed) to piss me off and basically tells me that he is letting me go.

Oh really?!

Not so fast jerk!

I am taking this cheap s.o.b. to Small Claims court, where I WILL get my money, for services rendered PLUS court costs.

Eff me?

No, eff you dude.

This happens all the time out here & people won't usually pursue it. He's messed with the wrong company. Take note others...those that have been screwed, there is something you can do - those who are doing the screwing...your day is coming.

- The Pool Guy

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

NEW - Amagansett Drive-Through Safari - Forget Six Flags!

Travelling down Cranberry Hole Road a car of Jersiots stopped short right in front of us, causing my husband (with awesome reflexes) to lock our truck up and turn to the side to avoid hitting them. The windows on the passenger side rolled down and heads and arms crane out with a camera, pointing with the most shocked expressions of absolute, pure joy.

It was our Sunday drive and I was not about to let this ruin my day, so we sat back and waited patiently as they snapped photos into the woods and exclaimed "THAT'S AMAZING!" for a couple more minutes, and we wondered if they even realized there was a obnoxiously loud turbo diesel truck idling five feet behind them.

Slowly, and reluctantly, the heads sink back into the car and they move on, making us wonder.  What in the world were they looking at?  Did they find the Montauk Monster?  The Camp Hero Beast?  Bill McGintees brain running loose through the forest instead of his head where it's been missing from for years?

Their glee and wonder at this apparently exotic animal they stumbled over on their Bonac Safari peaked our own curiosity, so my own head stretched out the window when we finally had the chance to drive by ourselves.

"What is it?  What is it?" my husband asks and my reply was more of an "Are You Serious?" type of shock than a truly awed one.

No Montauk Monster, no beast, no brain.

It was a turkey.

A friggin' turkey.

Do they not have Turkeys in Jersey? If they really wanted to see one I would of been happy to give them the 19 pounder in my freezer.  I personally think they're a lot cuter without that tiny head and all those feathers, preferably Golden Brown with cornbread stuffing on my Thanksgiving Table.


I loudly Gobbled at it, and hoped my poor attempt at Turkey Language translated to "Get in the woods you damn bird.. you're amusing the tourists too easily!" At least the gobbling made my hubby giggle, since before that second he looked more ready to make a Golden-Plated-Jersey-Volvo sacrifice to the Poultry Gods.

I hope those folks don't cause any accidents by stumbling over a rare and elusive Squirrel or even gasp, Bunny. "AMAZING!"?  No, not car accident-worthy amazing.


Thursday, July 9, 2009

New Jersey plates cause for accident fault presumptions

I was making a left on Bay Street into a private driveway this past week; I had my left turn signal on.

A contractor truck proceeds to pass me on the LEFT as I was turning. Needless to say there was a serious accident. My car is probably totaled.

What makes this unreal is that when the cop showed up he couldn't figure out who was at fault for the accident. He said something to the effect that I had New Jersey license plates so maybe I didn't know what I was doing.

One small problem with his theory, I grew up in the Hamptons.

- Local

In thinking up a title for this one, I've coined a new Hamptons term, New Jidiot: New Jersey Idiot. PLEASE NOTE: "Local" is not the idiot in this story.

Monday, June 29, 2009

A story of raspberries and adult accountability

Run into Country Gardens Farmstand to buy some last minute things for dinner.

A lady is pondering over strawberries while her four year old son eats almost a whole carton of raspberries. She doesn't say anything to her son to make him stop eating them.

She buys only the strawberries, leaving the carton of raspberries behind, on the shelf, half eaten.

- Hannah

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Is that a pledge pin on your spiffy polo shirt?

They would have had to pay extra money to get extra walnuts and extra strawberries on their $12 salad.

They didn't want to pay the extra money-they just wanted what they wanted even though the guy insisted "it's not about the money, it's about the principle."

SO, because they couldn't get what they wanted for free (extra walnuts and extra strawberries for no extra money), they decided to "toilet paper" the bathroom walls (college style--you know--wet the stuff well and them slap it on the walls).

We're talking 2.00pm on the first sunny Saturday in June on Newtown Lane!

So I take it this is the behavioral example of a person of morals, values and strong principles?

- Dean Wormer

Monday, June 22, 2009

You got Georgica'd - the act of clearing a line by removing foul weather protection

So, I think I just witnessed the rudest thing yet in the Hamptons (this season):

Essentially, at Georgica in Wainscott this Saturday, Matt Levine (of The Eldridge fame) decided that the best way to handle the crowd out front was to remove the awning at the door and get everyone soaking wet in the rain. People were SO mad...

Gotta love the Hamptons!

-Nick Leighton, Producer

Plum TV

Sunday, June 21, 2009

A Friend Makes The New York Times

While we normally just track rudeness in the Hamptons, a friend in our quest has been Guest Of A Guest. How nice it was to see Rachelle Hruska and her GOG team make the NY Times Sunday edition.


The Editor

Friday, June 19, 2009

WTF you can last a whole month?

Just this past weekend, I happened to be with three friends walking in town, remarking how even bad weather draws out the tourists these days to our dislike. We separated momentarily, I wanted to see if a local store had a gift for one of my friends I was with, and I alone was witness to a remarkable conversation between two young tourists.

Tourist #1: I just adore coming out to the Hamptons.

Tourist #2: I know, I'm enjoying it so much, that I think I might be able to last here for an entire month!

Tourist #1: No! Really?


Try lasting here for your entire life. One month...really...?


Friday, June 12, 2009

Playing Billy Joel gets you a noise violation in Southampton

My friends and I were driving down Dune road in my Jeep Wrangler playing Billy Joel on our way to go camping at Shinnecock. We got stuck in traffic because some rich people were having a party and clogged up the road with their Bentleys.

Some snotty city girls walking down the street gave us dirty looks and said, "what is that music?"

Please don't come to Long Island if you dont know who Billy Joel is! Thank you!

In addition to that the Southampton police gave us a ticket for noise, Billy Joel noise, at 12 in the afternoon and he was a local!?

ughh hate these city people!

- C

Friday, May 29, 2009

Park It Like It's Hot

Usually I do not like to stereotype tourists out here. I grew up out here and know that some tourists are nice and some locals are jerks. Just like all populations, there are always a few bad apples.

I'm getting really annoyed though. Yesterday I was on the wharf in Sag Harbor when I watched as 4 twentysomethings parked their car in an area that not only was not a parking spot but also was an obstacle to cars trying to leave the

Now, most people would have realized from the honking and astonished stares that SOMETHING just wasn't right here. Nope, they get out and start to walk away. I decide to say (nicely too, giving them the benefit of th doubt that they didn't realize their error) "Hey, that isn't a parking spot" which they laugh at and keep walking.

WTF? I hope their car got a ticket and a boot. Just because this is the 'country' doesn't mean you can break the law. Some people here have jobs and places to be, have some respect!

- Annoyed K

Monday, May 25, 2009

Royal Pains In My Butt

Don’t bother coming out to the Hamptons for Mother’s day, the beach is closed. At least it was today for the USA Networks production Royal Pains.

And what a pain it is. At the End of Ocean Rd. in Bridgehampton I was turned away from an evening walk on the beach.

“WE ARE LOCKED DOWN!” a lady yelped at me with authority as I walked to towards the sand. Apparently this lingo should mean something to me. She saw the confused look on my face,

“Oh, you are not with us”

“ah, no maam.” I replied timidly.

"Well you can't go there, THE BEACH IS CLOSED!”

Well I’ll be darned.

I didn’t think they could close the beach.

- TH

Friday, May 22, 2009

Touch my toilet paper and I'll beat your ass, even if you're a child

No parent should ever, ever experience a complete stranger causing any level of harm to their child, but unfortunately we experienced such an event Thursday, May 21st at Waldbaums on Newtown Lane between 6 and 6:30pm. While checking out my groceries with my daughter in the cart, a lady behind us was behaving oddly, raising her arms up and sighing exaggeratingly since we were taking a while (I had quite the cart full), and my 3 year old was hungry and tired after a long day in the sun, causing her to whine and rub her eyes in a normal, preschooler way.

When my daughter reached over and touched her toilet paper (since the lady didn't use a divider, my daughter assumed it was ours), the woman snapped and smackes my daughter in the arm by the wrist. Shocked, my child pulled away, holding her arm and staring at her without a word, and chaos ensued as I stepped in and asked her What in the holy hell she was thinking laying a hand my daughter.

Words were exchanged and the manager stepped in to diffuse the situation, and along with our cashier she handled it in an absolutely amazing manner of grace and charm which I am ever so grateful for, keeping my daughter occupied and telling me it will be alright, while I was shaking too hard to even swipe my debit card properly. My husband and I then rushed our children to our truck, but the woman fled before I returned to call the police. All we have now is a desciption of who appeared to be the Crypt keepers Wife in a gaudy black hat with white zebra stripes who possibly lives off of goats blood, has an amazing affinity for toilet paper and a violently predatory urge to hurt children.

I would of (and regretfully should of) kept the woman at the store until the proper authorities arrived, but as a mother, I was so overwhelmed with shock and rage at her actions, I now only regret that I was unable to see her odd behavior before the assault as a warning to protect my child from her in the first place. It's now 7am the following day and I am still at a loss as visions of my daughter holding her arm and widening her eyes in fear and hurt played through my head all night, though everyone who has so far heard what happened from both myself and others in the store have been amazingly supportive in telling me I restrained myself well, and how as parents they would of retaliated in the same way if not worse. If a cart wasn't between us we would probably both be eating our breakfast in jail. That is a fact I am sure any parent can relate to.

Moral of the story: Now that Summer has officially begun with Memorial Day Weekend arriving, please, everyone needs to keep in mind what kind of unstable people can appear around here. Even if they claim to of been here all year long people are still able to transform themselves into complete animals at any age. Keep your children close, and if this ever happens to you and your child please, notify the authorities immediately no matter how shocking and enraging it feels. Men and women like her do indeed exist, running loose until they hit the next child and are unable to escape the wrath of the protective parent and police afterwards.

- EM

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Pick Up Your Poo

Last summer I was visiting the CVS  in East Hampton, when I watched a lady park her car. She jumped out with a dog and proceeded to walk the dog on the grass.

What happened next was shocking.

The dog takes a poo.

She leaves the poo.

The dog and her start to get back in her car.

I stop and ask her if she plans to leave her poo.

Her response, "Don't be hostile."

Off she goes.

- Watch Your Step

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Follow us on Twitter

The Rude Hamptons is now on Twitter so you'll be able to keep track of what's going on as well as shoot us any stories you'd like to share.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Food Delivery On A Porno Set

I've been telling this story for years to family and friends but figured everyone else might get a kick out of it (I've since escaped to another state as well so no fear of repercussions of telling it in a public forum now).

Please note that all names have been changed slightly to protect identities or avoid me getting sued by particular celebrities :)

In high school I used to work at a certain 4-Star Inn's restaurant across from a certain pond in a certain town that would be thought of the 'center' of the Hamptons.

One night we had a chef dinner. For those of you who don't know what chef dinners are, they are events where only reservations for the dinner are accepted-no walk-ins. Because of this there was a limited amount of restaurant staff on hand. There's also a set menu with many specific courses. There can be no deviation from the menu that night. All of these particular chef dinners had themes from different countries. I don't remember offhand what that night's 'hosting' country was. Only that the "main course" was a particular type of chicken being served.

Well, shortly before the dinner is about to start, who shows up at the Inn but two well-known actors who were having an affair (unbeknown to most people at that point in time). Of course the entire Inn was in a state of near-panic seeing as the two love birds did not have a reservation for a room, it was I weekend I believe. Luckily the Inn's owner had a semi-personal cottage as one of the rooms at the Inn, and a quick call to the owner secured the cottage for the couple. Quite nice!

But the two love birds lets call them oh.. Rick Hawk and Maggie May were ravenous (of course!) and desired a meal. Well of course they had to be told that the restaurant was closed and why. Instead of deciding to order something else standard from the room service menu, they of course desired to partake in the chef dinner. The restaurant's Chef and staff, eager to impress and please them (not to mention that 2/3 of the female staff was giddy over the prospect of serving the male love-bird), wholeheartedly poured their efforts into preparing and extra table. We dragged from outside near our storage shed a rather heavy extra table and lugged it up the steps into the dinning area. Seeing as there was limited staff though, I ended up doing most of the set-up work for their table after that.

The love-birds inquired as to where their table was located. The location of it apparently did not suit them, and the staff hastened to move the table to a corner of the restaurant. This went back and forth a few times with myself and another moving a very heavy table around the already prepared room, attempting not to jostle the other tables that were set with fine silverware and wine glasses. Finally it seemed the table spot was satisfactory and we breathed a sigh of relief. Too late.

Moments later the Chef realized since the meals were planned out in advance and ingredients precisely ordered, they did not have enough chicken. I was given money and asked to go get the chicken. Myself being a teenager and not a cook for the most part, was nervous about finding said type of chicken. I hastened to the nearby grocery store to find it. Being a local and honoring the right to privacy, I mentioned to no-one my all-important task of securing food for such important people during such a scandalous escapade. But, alas, the proper type of chicken was no where to be found. For this was a VERY specific type of chicken apparently. I asked the store workers, but was told of course, that all chicken was out in the case. I selected what I thought to be the closest match and hurried back to home base. Of course the chicken was not the right type but the awesome Chef of course had a solution.

The night progressed closer to the opening of the dinner.. the anticipation and glee grew amongst my two other female co-workers while I watched on in partial anxiety and amusement.

Close to the dinner's scheduled time, the lovebirds phoned in that they had decided not to dine amongst the masses, but to partake in a private diner. Now THAT made sense to me! While my two female co-workers argued amongst themselves who would bring what to them I steered clear of it and hoped I would not be enlisted to carry heavy trays down the kitchen steps, across the uneven, damp courtyard grass, up the cottage steps to the two honored guests.

Fate was not so kind. The head female co-worker had apparently won the fight to serve the lovebirds first, the wine and starter course. She came back elated and gleeful and sensing my fear, anxiety, and disgust over the gushing over the celebrities (when they were obviously at the Inn just trying to get away from all that!!), she barked at me that I would be going with my other co-worker to deliver the next course.

We loaded our trays and barely made it without mishap across the lawn and into the cottage where the female lovebird, Maggie May, was dressed conservatively in appropriate dinner attire. She graciously welcomed us in, holding the door for us and helped us to set our trays on the cottage's table and unload the items. I relaxed and thought that "gee this isn't so bad-she's really nice!". Just then her counter-part, Rick Hawk called to her from a small adjoining section of the cottage. When I looked over I was appalled to see him sprawled out in what appeared to be black silk SHORT boxers in front of the fireplace. I quickly averted my eyes trying to maintain composure even though I unlike most girls, was really horrified that someone would dress that way with perfect strangers coming in and out of his 'bedroom suite'. My co-worker of course was beaming with excitement and glee and trying not to gush. The male lovebird pointedly ignored us and the fact that we were delivering his food, mouthed not a word of thanks and went back to his lounging. Our temporary hostess warmly thanked us for our work and we went on our way, my co-worker grabbing my arm and practically squealing about the state-of-dress of the male lovebird.

All I can say is this. EWWW. To most people seeing famous stars and witnessing such a scandalous thing would be the highlight of their year. But for someone raised on the east end who has seen such stars walking around like locals do on the town's main streets, and in the stores, you come to realize they are just people like you and yes, they can act in films wonderfully. But for me that doesn't mean they are above simple etiquette of society. How they act is what counts for me. Remember I was only in high school. So for me I did NOT feel it was appropriate for this celeb to dress this way in front of us. I know most females out there will probably disagree. Needless to say, although I had enjoyed watching that particular male actor in various films before the incident, and indeed found him to be attractive, after that incident I avoided all films he was in like the plague and lost all respect for the guy.

So yeah, locals and city people are not the only rude ones out there-lets never forget the rude celebs!!

- HappyHampy