Sunday, September 30, 2007

The Real OGs or in this case OLs

I'm ringing up a guy and he says "oh man I can't wait for all of these tourists to get out of here, it's nice when it's just us locals."

I turn to the bag boy next to me with a smirk and turn back to the guy and laugh and say, "yea, he's from the city." (referring to the bag boy) and the guy looks at me and says "yeah, me too."

It amuses me how city people think that they're locals just because they own a house out here.

- Shocked and Awed

Friday, September 28, 2007

Price check! Register Four!

And this is my all time favorite.

A somewhat new girl had rung up a a middle aged couple. She didn't make any drastic mistakes and there was no confrontation during the check out. After paying the woman decides to say that the girl had rung her up wrong. Being somewhat new, the girl didn't want to deal with it and asked me to help the lady.

Meanwhile our manager type man, J, was there trying to keep the lady calm. Her complaint was that she was charged $1.99 for arugula when it was only $.99. I corrected her and told her that it was $1.99 and she probably misread the sign.

J told her to quit while she was ahead, but she persisted.

I re-rang her entire purchase not once, but twice, and in turned out she owed us 68 cents because the other cashier had accidentally put in the wrong code for a certain lettuce (not the arugula).

J tells her that she should have just let it go and she could keep her 68 cents. She mumble something to the effect of, "I'm right, the sign for the arugula said 99 cents."

Fed up with her arrogance I run to salad greens section grab the sign and ran back to the front of the store, but the lady had already left, but I desperately wanted to prove her wrong. I ran after her, outside the store and up to her car and shoved the sign in her face.

Dumbfounded, she didn't admit that she had simply misread it, her eyes had slipped over the 1, no, she said there was another sign that said .99 cents.

I told her again that she was wrong, the sign I had was the only sign, and that arugula was not and had never been 99 cents. She stormed off, speechless.

It was my revenge on all of the stuck up, self righteous jerks that I had to deal with.

- Shocked and Awed

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Master of the obvious

Okay so, it's a Monday, a lot of people have off because it's a slow day and the sacks of corn are in front of the corn display table, open.

A lady comes up to the cashiers and asks where the corn is.

My reply is that I didn't know, it may not have been put out yet because the people that usually do it have off today.

Her response, "what are you talking about, there's 4 bags right there all you have to do is dump them out!"

So of course I volunteer to do it. I'm 5 foot 2 and weigh about 100 lbs. The sacks of corn weigh about 50 lbs. The lady stands idly, watching me struggle for quite some time with the sack that was as big as me.

When I finished unloading one bag and begin to walk away she snaps at me "you're only doing one bag?!"

My reply, "oh did you need more?"

Her response "well yeah, that's what I thought you were doing."

I again, struggle to empty the sack of corn. I walk back to my register and a few minutes later she gets in line to be rung up.

She bought 2 ears of corn.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Grocery Scanner Withdrawal Symptoms

This one was an everyday occurrence.

It usually went something like this - cashier puts in the code for some produce (we use codes because we don't have scanners, obviously we're not charging $21.02 for a package of brussel sprouts)

Customer freaks out, "omg how is that $21.02?"

"No ma'am that's just the code for it, if you notice after I type in the code the actual price comes up."

2 minutes later, "why are you charging me 11.60 per pound of potatoes!!!"

"No, that's just the code." Customer grabs receipt, holds up the line and meticulously reviews every item, re-weighing the produce to make sure a young adult old isn't cheating them out of their money.

- Shocked and Awed

This brownie tastes terrible

This actually happened last summer.

Everyday we put the day old baked goods on a rack for 50% off. A woman, obviously well off and probably from the city buys a day-old brownie. 15 minutes later she comes back in with the brownie completely gone demanding a refund for her 60 some aught cents.

When i ask her why, her response "it was too crumbly." .....this about a brownie, a day old sh*t Sherlock!

- Shocked and Awed


Series from the Amagansett Farmers Market

I worked at the Farmers Market this past summer and I have numerous stories about the ineffably appalling people that I had to deal with. Keep in mind I'm only 15 and these weren't even the most extreme scenarios, they're just the ones I find the most funny.

- Shocked and Awed
Editor - Author let me know if you want a bumper sticker send me an email with your address.

Thursday, September 6, 2007

Can I borrow a condom?

...behind the ditzy citiot who begged the Hess attendent to borrow the $2.29 bottle opener to pry the lid off the beer in her car, promising to bring it right back. Don't know if I was more amazed at the unmitigated gaul of the request, or the blank response of the stoic employee, " Sorry Mam, then it would be used and I couldn't sell it."

Two for the price of one...Rude AND Dumb!!


Monday, September 3, 2007

Twofers at Wildthyme

No story here yet...need to interrogate the wait staff about Sunday 2 for 1 dinners.

My wife and I stopped there for dinner on Sunday night having never been before.

The twofer menu had a disclaimer that took up half the page. I could only sit and smile thinking there must be many many many wonderful stories behind something that looks like a car rental agreement.

The Editor

BTW - Excellent Meal