Accusations of Bestiality outside Bobby Vans

I had lunch outside of Bobby Vans a few weeks ago. Was told that I needed to tie my dog at a near by bench because dogs were not allowed under the table. No problem, I understood.

So I tied my little poodle/bichon on a bench about 2 feet away so I could be close to her. A man went to sit on the bench, shoved my tiny poodle aside so she wouldn't be close to him. After I told him he had nerve shoving a small dog he proceeded to say she was trying to sniff his crotch (which wasn't true). Anyway I brought attention to what a jerk he was. If my husband were there I doubt he would have pulled that stunt.

-PH

Pretend Deaf Customer Service In WHB

Going into Beach Bakery in Westhampton Beach this Saturday, I didn't expect to find any rude people, since it is the beginning of November and the summer people are long gone--boy, was I wrong!

I go to the self-serve coffee area to make myself and my collegue a cup of coffee.  I notice the both the half-and-half and non-fat milk containers are empty.  The girl at the register is busy ringing someone up, so I look for other assistance.  There is another girl behind the counter; looks like she was cleaning something up behind the counter.

"Excuse me", I say meekly.  No answer.  "Um, I'm sorry...excuse me", I say again.  Again, no answer.  I try a bit louder: "Excuse me...I'm sorry...do you have more milk?"

She does not answer, but this time, she looks in my direction and continues doing whatever it is she is doing back there.  One more time..."Uh..excuse me?  You're out of non-fat and half-and-half....", again, NOTHING!  Finally, I look her staight in the eye, and say, "Can you hear me?" I swear to God for a moment there, I thought maybe she was deaf!

She finally answers snidley, "Yeah, I can hear you fine, I'm just busy!", and proceeds to WALK AWAY.

I left my coffee on the counter and walked out the door.

-K

Tossing Salad at the Lobster Roll

My brother works at the Lobster Roll north side, and he gets all of the winners.

There was a family who was (I'm assuming) from the Hamptons or city. They were very loud, very rude and thought they were Gods gift to this world.

This woman (the mother) orders a ceaser salad. Ok easy. My brother brings it out for her with the dressing on the side in a cup like she asked for. She starts to flip out because the salad dressing is not mixed throughout the salad so she sends it back.

Another salad comes out with the dressing mixed in and she flips out again because "there was more dressing on the salad then was in the cup."

So my brother gets a new undressed salad beings the dressing over, she pours her desired amount on and then makes my brother toss the salad till it was perfect.

After they left he found out they stiffed him.

A$$holes.

Horses' Asses Among The Guests At The Hampton Classic

So my husband and I decided to take a trip out to the Hampton Classic on Saturday so that our son can take part in the Kid's Day activities.

We knew going in that there would be snooty people, elitists, and citiots, but we wanted to check it out and at least put the experience of going under our belt.

I think next year there should be a etiquette seminar for those in the aforementioned categories.

Of course, the most efficient means to get from point A to point B is a straight line, however, if such a route is blocked by a perpendicular line (points C and D) of people waiting at a food kiosk, the common sense approach would be to say "excuse me" when you opt to take advantage of the 2 foot break between person 5 and person 6 who are standing on the point C and point D line.

After about the 5th non-gracious offender anytime a person attempted to bust their way through, I put my foot in the way.

- JB

Amex Black Card Holders Poor Patrons and Tippers

Try working in a restaurant all summer and dealing w/ these people and they are still here!

They send everything back because they don't want to pay for it and then hand you an American Express Black card and tip next to nothing!

- KH

Who's Really In The Driver's Seat?

I was at the Driver's Seat in Southampton and some guy had his little dog and was told to take the dog away, he said it was an 'aid dog', yea right.

An his wife complained how 'hard' the tomatoes were. I thought they were great.

- X

NY Post Rude Hamptons Story at the Palm

Here we go, Amy Paul, who may or may not be a teacher in Rye NY gets upset about the service at the Palm in East Hampton.

Guest of a Guest reports on poor service at Serafina East Hampton

Read for yourself - here

Naked and Seen at Gurney's Inn

I was enjoying a nice Christmas Eve dinner at Gurney's Inn while at a another table sat a large party with two young children.

Please note I've raised two children personally and I like kids, but....

When the father proceeded to change the little girl into her pajamas at the table in the restaurant down to her diapers I thought that was crossing the line. I realize children are no longer seen and not heard, but simply leaving the dining room to change clothes would be something simple and easy.

- The Nudist

Three card check monte at the Copa Wine Bar

Curbed Hamptons must be attracting some rude stories, check out this great example of customer service at the Copa Wine Bar.

Good Thing She Doesn't Want Half A Puppy

Someone shared this story with me in the village today:

I'm in the pizza parlor and I watch an older lady with kid walk upto the counter and orders half a slice of pizza. She only has $1.97 on her and wants only half a slice.

The pizza guy tells her, "sorry we don't sell half slices, you can buy a whole one."

She replied, "I only have $1.97."

Pizza guy, "well you can buy a whole slice on your credit card."

She replied, "I don't want to charge it."

This goes on four times as she keeps coming up and asking. The Pizza Guy finally breaks down.

- The Editor

The Crying Game of Hamptons Liquor

Our blog friends, GuestofaGuest, tipped us off to a Page Six WE HEAR . . . article that a few Hamptons restaurants are under investigation over refilling high end booze with the rot gut brands. I guess law enforcement never read our story from last summer, Georgi Vodka Beats Ketel One In Blind Taste Test, where some asshat actually thought Georgi Vodka was Ketel One.

Good to know that some restaurants don't do such terrible things.

- The Editor

Is that a pledge pin on your spiffy polo shirt?

They would have had to pay extra money to get extra walnuts and extra strawberries on their $12 salad.

They didn't want to pay the extra money-they just wanted what they wanted even though the guy insisted "it's not about the money, it's about the principle."

SO, because they couldn't get what they wanted for free (extra walnuts and extra strawberries for no extra money), they decided to "toilet paper" the bathroom walls (college style--you know--wet the stuff well and them slap it on the walls).

We're talking 2.00pm on the first sunny Saturday in June on Newtown Lane!

So I take it this is the behavioral example of a person of morals, values and strong principles?

- Dean Wormer

Food Delivery On A Porno Set

I've been telling this story for years to family and friends but figured everyone else might get a kick out of it (I've since escaped to another state as well so no fear of repercussions of telling it in a public forum now).

Please note that all names have been changed slightly to protect identities or avoid me getting sued by particular celebrities :)

In high school I used to work at a certain 4-Star Inn's restaurant across from a certain pond in a certain town that would be thought of the 'center' of the Hamptons.

One night we had a chef dinner. For those of you who don't know what chef dinners are, they are events where only reservations for the dinner are accepted-no walk-ins. Because of this there was a limited amount of restaurant staff on hand. There's also a set menu with many specific courses. There can be no deviation from the menu that night. All of these particular chef dinners had themes from different countries. I don't remember offhand what that night's 'hosting' country was. Only that the "main course" was a particular type of chicken being served.

Well, shortly before the dinner is about to start, who shows up at the Inn but two well-known actors who were having an affair (unbeknown to most people at that point in time). Of course the entire Inn was in a state of near-panic seeing as the two love birds did not have a reservation for a room, it was I weekend I believe. Luckily the Inn's owner had a semi-personal cottage as one of the rooms at the Inn, and a quick call to the owner secured the cottage for the couple. Quite nice!

But the two love birds lets call them oh.. Rick Hawk and Maggie May were ravenous (of course!) and desired a meal. Well of course they had to be told that the restaurant was closed and why. Instead of deciding to order something else standard from the room service menu, they of course desired to partake in the chef dinner. The restaurant's Chef and staff, eager to impress and please them (not to mention that 2/3 of the female staff was giddy over the prospect of serving the male love-bird), wholeheartedly poured their efforts into preparing and extra table. We dragged from outside near our storage shed a rather heavy extra table and lugged it up the steps into the dinning area. Seeing as there was limited staff though, I ended up doing most of the set-up work for their table after that.

The love-birds inquired as to where their table was located. The location of it apparently did not suit them, and the staff hastened to move the table to a corner of the restaurant. This went back and forth a few times with myself and another moving a very heavy table around the already prepared room, attempting not to jostle the other tables that were set with fine silverware and wine glasses. Finally it seemed the table spot was satisfactory and we breathed a sigh of relief. Too late.

Moments later the Chef realized since the meals were planned out in advance and ingredients precisely ordered, they did not have enough chicken. I was given money and asked to go get the chicken. Myself being a teenager and not a cook for the most part, was nervous about finding said type of chicken. I hastened to the nearby grocery store to find it. Being a local and honoring the right to privacy, I mentioned to no-one my all-important task of securing food for such important people during such a scandalous escapade. But, alas, the proper type of chicken was no where to be found. For this was a VERY specific type of chicken apparently. I asked the store workers, but was told of course, that all chicken was out in the case. I selected what I thought to be the closest match and hurried back to home base. Of course the chicken was not the right type but the awesome Chef of course had a solution.

The night progressed closer to the opening of the dinner.. the anticipation and glee grew amongst my two other female co-workers while I watched on in partial anxiety and amusement.

Close to the dinner's scheduled time, the lovebirds phoned in that they had decided not to dine amongst the masses, but to partake in a private diner. Now THAT made sense to me! While my two female co-workers argued amongst themselves who would bring what to them I steered clear of it and hoped I would not be enlisted to carry heavy trays down the kitchen steps, across the uneven, damp courtyard grass, up the cottage steps to the two honored guests.

Fate was not so kind. The head female co-worker had apparently won the fight to serve the lovebirds first, the wine and starter course. She came back elated and gleeful and sensing my fear, anxiety, and disgust over the gushing over the celebrities (when they were obviously at the Inn just trying to get away from all that!!), she barked at me that I would be going with my other co-worker to deliver the next course.

We loaded our trays and barely made it without mishap across the lawn and into the cottage where the female lovebird, Maggie May, was dressed conservatively in appropriate dinner attire. She graciously welcomed us in, holding the door for us and helped us to set our trays on the cottage's table and unload the items. I relaxed and thought that "gee this isn't so bad-she's really nice!". Just then her counter-part, Rick Hawk called to her from a small adjoining section of the cottage. When I looked over I was appalled to see him sprawled out in what appeared to be black silk SHORT boxers in front of the fireplace. I quickly averted my eyes trying to maintain composure even though I unlike most girls, was really horrified that someone would dress that way with perfect strangers coming in and out of his 'bedroom suite'. My co-worker of course was beaming with excitement and glee and trying not to gush. The male lovebird pointedly ignored us and the fact that we were delivering his food, mouthed not a word of thanks and went back to his lounging. Our temporary hostess warmly thanked us for our work and we went on our way, my co-worker grabbing my arm and practically squealing about the state-of-dress of the male lovebird.

All I can say is this. EWWW. To most people seeing famous stars and witnessing such a scandalous thing would be the highlight of their year. But for someone raised on the east end who has seen such stars walking around like locals do on the town's main streets, and in the stores, you come to realize they are just people like you and yes, they can act in films wonderfully. But for me that doesn't mean they are above simple etiquette of society. How they act is what counts for me. Remember I was only in high school. So for me I did NOT feel it was appropriate for this celeb to dress this way in front of us. I know most females out there will probably disagree. Needless to say, although I had enjoyed watching that particular male actor in various films before the incident, and indeed found him to be attractive, after that incident I avoided all films he was in like the plague and lost all respect for the guy.

So yeah, locals and city people are not the only rude ones out there-lets never forget the rude celebs!!

- HappyHampy

Don't let the door hit you on your way out with your fiber smoothie, citidot!

I will say I have been living out in the Hamptons for about 25 years now.  Is it just me or every year do the citiots get stupider?

They do not know how to drive, which many people have already stated so I guess another stupid driver story is as necessary as another Louie Bag Toting Starlet wannabe infesting the area.  But I will say the best to date is the follows:

I work in Amagansett and I was going to Mary's Marvelous to grab my coffee and oatmeal as I do every morning - granted in the summer you want to chew on a bullet than wait on line behind someone trying to pick out their smoothie selections but they really do have such a great staff and great food so you smile and grit your teeth - I was walking with a co-worker behind a couple who was discussing how the locals are so rude etc. and how we think that we are better than they are... blah blah blah  WHILE they are having this intriguing discussion I guess they did not realize that they cut off a woman with her stroller trying to get up the stairs.

The man made it look like he was going to open the door for her (which is why we didn't ) His mate then walked in BEFORE the woman and the STROLLER and instead of holding the door for her - HE WALKED IN AND LET THE DOOR SLAM!!!!

We were in disbelief - grabbed the door helped her with the stroller and get in the door.  When we got in the couple was still complaining of the locals. Ahh how much longer until Columbus day??????

Thanks for letting me vent!

-S

Bitch, Party of Seven

My wife and I head to a local restaurant tonight to enjoy a nice end of the summer dinner. In we go and we're behind a lady and five of her small children. We're probably talking under eleven years old.

Momma asks the hostess if their table is ready.

No table under her name, the hostess reads off all the parties of seven waiting. No luck.

"Well my husband put his name in and you said to come back in 10-15 minutes."

"Oh yes now I remember, that was at 6:25, it's 7:10, sorry we had to give your table away. I can put your name back in but it's a 45 minute wait for a party of that size."

"Bitch" says momma as she walks out with her family.

NICE

- The Editor

Where are your manners Panama Jacka$$?

I'm married to a local, who grew up in Springs. We live in Florida now and visit family about twice a year. Summers are exciting for me, torture for him. I drag him into the village all the time for some people watching.

One morning I decided to venture out on my own with my daughter in her stroller. We were hungry and walked up to the Golden Pear on Newtown. As I approached the door (and step) a man dressed in a white, all linen suit jumped in front of me, whipped open the door, and walked right in. Leaving the door to slam in my face.

Forgetting all decorum I yelled after him, "What the F***!??"

A local, had to be a local, noticed and shook his head and helped me through the door and even helped get the stroller up! I was so baffled...I felt like I was in another country...one where they ignore women!

- Jenny

I immediately thought of the Panama Jack guy when I read this story. - The Editor

A Snubbing at Starbucks

Alright, so I'm at the Bridgehampton Starbucks and I'm waiting in line to get my drink, and this woman in a flimsy-looking white sundress that was way too short, complete with large hat and sunglasses proceeds to the counter, completely cutting me off.  I proceed to glare at the back of her head, but I don't say anything. 

While we're waiting for the baristas to finish up what they were doing she turns around and asks me "Did you order?" 

So I say, "No, I'm waiting."  She looks at me for a second then just turns around and stays there.

Then, after I get my beverage I sit down to study and her idiot kid proceeds to run around the store screaming.

Nice.

- HG

Frick and Frack Haze The Starbucks Barista

Every summer my husband and I (and now daughter) take a day trip from our home in Center Moriches to the east end for some beach time, photo opportunities and delicious lobster roll sammies. Last year was no different and part of our trip included an a.m. jolt of caffeine from the Southampton Starbucks. My DH and daughter stayed in the car while I went in and got our drinks. I ordered and went to the counter to receive them when I noticed these 2 men berating the barista while their drinks were being made.

"Is that SOY milk?"

"Did you make that EXTRA HOT?"

Yelling and eye-rolling abounds! I felt so bad for the guy. When they finally got their drinks (and not a thank you to be heard) they stopped at the self serve area. I received my beverages, said my thank you and we shared a momentary I KNOW!! moment about frick and frack.

I wound up leaving the same time as them (and do you THINK they held the door??? Um, NO.) and they saw me getting into our vehicle.

One says to the other. "Look, a Jeep Commander" (they were getting into another Jeep) and the other one goes "Ew, it's an 06!"

Oh, well excuuuuuse us. I'm not sure if they were rude locals or rude tourists but it was just an obnoxious experience to be a witness to.

- LP

Get your own Rude Hamptons Bumper Sticker

My new shipment of bumper stickers came in so now you can get your own. It's really easy.

1. Submit a rude story with a postal address and I'll send you two. An extra for a friend.

2. Stop by one of my specially designated locations and ask for one.

This week stop by Sams in East Hampton. Be sure to ask for Graham and order a pizza to go.

The Editor