Friday, October 29, 2010

Jedi Mind Trick on the line for the Hampton Jitney

I was standing in line for the Hampton Jitney, I was first in line with about 12 people behind me.

A woman came up to me and said, "Is this the front of the line or the back of the line?"

I replied "This is the front of the line" and then she quickly added "or does it not matter" and she stood in front of me, making herself first in line.

I was quite impressed with her quick thinking. I will have to use that line myself, next time I want to make sure I get a seat before anyone else.


Thursday, October 28, 2010

Is that poop on your white pants?

When my daughter was younger (14 now) we were walking down Main St in SH. She had her weekly treat of an ice cream cone from the Fudge Factory (her fave store).

As we were walking there was a line of "tourists" coming at us and you think someone would move aside as not to bump into her but ran right into her and you gu...essed it, wound up wearing the ice cream cone (chocolate on white). They got really upset but I just said "next time watch where you are going and you won't have a big brown spot on your pants.

Then said have a nice day and walked away. (you think they would have offered to buy a replacement for a crying 6yr old) The nerve of some people.


Wednesday, October 27, 2010

This is how we do it

It's not just out-of-town a**holes who make you wonder...

We enjoy the ocean beach by Mecox Bay and drove to the end of Flying Point Road when we saw an open space and parked.

Some a**hole came running over screaming "that's ours, we've been waiting for that space!"

Grandma (who was driving her red mini) said, "What do you mean?"

A**hole said, "We've lived here ten years and that's how we do it."

Grandma said, "I've lived here 25 years and never heard of that."

The nerve of some people!

Does buying an Escalade (or such) include rights over other people, or just the right to be an a**hole (and greedy gas guzzler)?

- OG

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Monday, October 25, 2010

VIP service at the drug store

I was at my neighborhood pharmacy, a real mom & pop place that takes no shit from rude customers, especially the ones who don't really live in this community. This was an obnoxious guest-out-for-the-weekend type.

He was just ahead of me at the line to the cashier, yammering away on his cell LOUDLY, so all could hear his one sided conversation about where he would be dining that night. (dropping the obligatory comments about Della Femina, Nick & Toni's etc.)

When he gets to the cashier with his purchase he is still squawking away on his cell, and just throws his debit card at the cashier. She just folds her arms and stares at him and steps back while listening to him talk. After a minute, he demands that he be rung-up, he's in a hurry after all, what's the problem.

Then he starts tapping the card on the counter, asking why he is not being taken care of, she says with a straight face and a firm voice "Sir, you just looked so busy and so immersed in such an important call, I did not want to disturb you. I'll just wait until you are done with your conversation and will be happy to assist you. In the meantime, STEP AWAY FROM THE REGISTER WHILE YOU ARE ON THE PHONE. (Then sweetly) May I help the next person please?"

Ha - silenced!

Grabbed his card and walked out leaving his lousy Tylenol on the counter. I stepped up with a big smile and wanted to kiss that lady. And now I know that Numbnuts like this are the reason why so many banks & shops out here have to post signs that say no cell phone use at the counter!


Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Impatient insolence at the liquor store

I work at a popular East End liquor store. We have sales often over holiday weekends, and quite often are very very busy.  One weekend this summer, I was alone at the store because the other employee had gone home sick. I normally run the register and help people with selections while the other employee does all the lifting (I am recovering from spinal fusion surgery). Our system worked great, and I had spent the better part of the day alone and fully capable of cover the store alone.  At least until about 6pm.

The store was pretty crowded, I was ringing up customers.  This woman, who is a regular customer, and not the nicest, was milling around. I offered to point her in whatever direction she needed, and she shook her head and walked away. I have a line about 4-5 deep, and she walks up to the counter, clears her throat until I look at her, "Excuse me, I've been walking around for 15 minutes, waiting for someone to help me," I look at her flabbergasted and ask how can I help you, she tells me she wants a case of our popular cheap rose.  I finish with the customer I'm ringing up, I let her know I'm going to check the stock on the computer real fast and if we have it she will have to wait online to purchase.

She tells me not to bother she found a case of it, I ask if she is sure, that sometimes the empty boxes are used in case stacks, or that sometimes, just because one wine is displayed on top of a stack of cases, doesn't mean all the cases are that same wine. She states she is sure and huffs to the back of the line. I continue helping customers, until its her turn.  She complains how she had to wait, how shes going to be late and its all my fault.  I smile apologize, and point out that there was a line, and I must help people in the order of the line. I ring up the 12 bottles she's assured me we have, she pays with her Black Amex of course.

My line at this point is 6-7 people deep, I ask her where she saw the case of the rose, and she turns around and says there is a stack of it right by counter, mind you this rose, that she has previously bought case of comes in a blue box... the case stack is all white boxes.  I know when I rang her up, stock said we had 1 case left, but with the store being rearranged a couple days before, the location wasn't listed.

I am now trying to run around looking for the case, my line is piling up, I ask her if she can wait 5 min so I can help a couple more customers, and she says "No, you've waisted to much of my time already."

Now just in case the one citidiot isn't being bitchy enough, now all the other citidiots (probably more than half the line) are all getting snippy too.

One guys hands me a fifty, shows me 2 bottles and informs me he is taking these and that this should be enough to cover it.  Others are getting nasty.

I located the case (no more then 5 minutes after starting to look) push it into the middle of the aisle with my foot, she looks at me, and says, "my car is parked next door," I look at her, her female friend and the guy with them who looks to be in his mid-twenties, and say, "I'm sorry, I'm not supposed to be lifting anything, but I can carry this out for you in a few minutes on the dolly, but first I must check out all the people on the line."

"We'll I just paid for it, you have to put it in my car for me."

I was astonished, no please, no thank you for finding it, nothing.  I informed her, (my patience really starting to run thin, and the citidiots in line are all bitching and whining) I will bring it to your car as soon as I'm done ringing all these customers up, but if you cannot wait that long, perhaps you or one of the people you are with will carry it out for you.

She huffed about me being rude and having no customer service skills, how I am ripping her off on a 11 dollar bottle of rose, and yelled at the guy to carry the box out.

My line, now almost to the door, full of fidgeting and bitching people, start commenting, as I begin to help them, poor service, that the woman is probably right about the prices, they can get it cheaper in the city.

Finally when I get to the last person, its a regular YEAR ROUND customer.  And all she can say is, "I'm not sure how you or any other person working in the hamptons during the summer can stand these people, they treat you like you are their personal slaves and only here to serve their needs."

Thank god, the summer is over, and the citidiot invasion is almost over for a few months, this year seemed to be the worst out of  the past 15 years I have worked in the hamptons over the summer.

- JR

Monday, October 18, 2010

Tossing Salad at the Lobster Roll

My brother works at the Lobster Roll north side, and he gets all of the winners.

There was a family who was (I'm assuming) from the Hamptons or city. They were very loud, very rude and thought they were Gods gift to this world.

This woman (the mother) orders a ceaser salad. Ok easy. My brother brings it out for her with the dressing on the side in a cup like she asked for. She starts to flip out because the salad dressing is not mixed throughout the salad so she sends it back.

Another salad comes out with the dressing mixed in and she flips out again because "there was more dressing on the salad then was in the cup."

So my brother gets a new undressed salad beings the dressing over, she pours her desired amount on and then makes my brother toss the salad till it was perfect.

After they left he found out they stiffed him.


Sunday, October 17, 2010

Involuntary Birdwatching In Springs

I told my neighbor that he had to move a shed that he built on my property. He said it wasn't bothering anyone. In order to protect my property rights, I sent him a certified letter demanding that he remove the shed and not encroach on my property anymore.

The following morning, 6:30 AM, I found him painting the fence that is right across from my front door.

Now, his wife goes down the driveway, flipping the bird!

Check out the photo on Facebook - click here

- Sad in Springs