Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Trendspotting - Doorman at retail store in Southampton

I was exiting Lynch's last weekend and I saw some folks following me out so I held the door. There was one woman with a small child making her way. She and child stopped on the threshold of the doorway, she proceeded to put a hat on her
child's head, then walk out the door.

All the while I am holding the door, see...I got no thank you or any acknowledgment for this deed whatsoever.

Thought for sure I'd get at least a thank you out of her for making me wait.

- B

Saturday, October 6, 2007

Wrap-up of press this year

Summer is over and I thought it would be nice to summarize some of the press this site had this year.

The Long Island Press October 3rd Edition - Article here

The East Hampton Press June 27th Edition - Article here

Blog Hampton - Two posts - Witch Way to 7-11 and Feeling disgruntled? dial this..

Thanks for the coverage

Sunday, September 30, 2007

The Real OGs or in this case OLs

I'm ringing up a guy and he says "oh man I can't wait for all of these tourists to get out of here, it's nice when it's just us locals."

I turn to the bag boy next to me with a smirk and turn back to the guy and laugh and say, "yea, he's from the city." (referring to the bag boy) and the guy looks at me and says "yeah, me too."

It amuses me how city people think that they're locals just because they own a house out here.

- Shocked and Awed

Friday, September 28, 2007

Price check! Register Four!

And this is my all time favorite.

A somewhat new girl had rung up a a middle aged couple. She didn't make any drastic mistakes and there was no confrontation during the check out. After paying the woman decides to say that the girl had rung her up wrong. Being somewhat new, the girl didn't want to deal with it and asked me to help the lady.

Meanwhile our manager type man, J, was there trying to keep the lady calm. Her complaint was that she was charged $1.99 for arugula when it was only $.99. I corrected her and told her that it was $1.99 and she probably misread the sign.

J told her to quit while she was ahead, but she persisted.

I re-rang her entire purchase not once, but twice, and in turned out she owed us 68 cents because the other cashier had accidentally put in the wrong code for a certain lettuce (not the arugula).

J tells her that she should have just let it go and she could keep her 68 cents. She mumble something to the effect of, "I'm right, the sign for the arugula said 99 cents."

Fed up with her arrogance I run to salad greens section grab the sign and ran back to the front of the store, but the lady had already left, but I desperately wanted to prove her wrong. I ran after her, outside the store and up to her car and shoved the sign in her face.

Dumbfounded, she didn't admit that she had simply misread it, her eyes had slipped over the 1, no, she said there was another sign that said .99 cents.

I told her again that she was wrong, the sign I had was the only sign, and that arugula was not and had never been 99 cents. She stormed off, speechless.

It was my revenge on all of the stuck up, self righteous jerks that I had to deal with.

- Shocked and Awed

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Master of the obvious

Okay so, it's a Monday, a lot of people have off because it's a slow day and the sacks of corn are in front of the corn display table, open.

A lady comes up to the cashiers and asks where the corn is.

My reply is that I didn't know, it may not have been put out yet because the people that usually do it have off today.

Her response, "what are you talking about, there's 4 bags right there all you have to do is dump them out!"

So of course I volunteer to do it. I'm 5 foot 2 and weigh about 100 lbs. The sacks of corn weigh about 50 lbs. The lady stands idly, watching me struggle for quite some time with the sack that was as big as me.

When I finished unloading one bag and begin to walk away she snaps at me "you're only doing one bag?!"

My reply, "oh did you need more?"

Her response "well yeah, that's what I thought you were doing."

I again, struggle to empty the sack of corn. I walk back to my register and a few minutes later she gets in line to be rung up.

She bought 2 ears of corn.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Grocery Scanner Withdrawal Symptoms

This one was an everyday occurrence.

It usually went something like this - cashier puts in the code for some produce (we use codes because we don't have scanners, obviously we're not charging $21.02 for a package of brussel sprouts)

Customer freaks out, "omg how is that $21.02?"

"No ma'am that's just the code for it, if you notice after I type in the code the actual price comes up."

2 minutes later, "why are you charging me 11.60 per pound of potatoes!!!"

"No, that's just the code." Customer grabs receipt, holds up the line and meticulously reviews every item, re-weighing the produce to make sure a young adult old isn't cheating them out of their money.

- Shocked and Awed

This brownie tastes terrible

This actually happened last summer.

Everyday we put the day old baked goods on a rack for 50% off. A woman, obviously well off and probably from the city buys a day-old brownie. 15 minutes later she comes back in with the brownie completely gone demanding a refund for her 60 some aught cents.

When i ask her why, her response "it was too crumbly." .....this about a brownie, a day old brownie...no sh*t Sherlock!

- Shocked and Awed


Series from the Amagansett Farmers Market

I worked at the Farmers Market this past summer and I have numerous stories about the ineffably appalling people that I had to deal with. Keep in mind I'm only 15 and these weren't even the most extreme scenarios, they're just the ones I find the most funny.

- Shocked and Awed
Editor - Author let me know if you want a bumper sticker send me an email with your address.

Thursday, September 6, 2007

Can I borrow a condom?

...behind the ditzy citiot who begged the Hess attendent to borrow the $2.29 bottle opener to pry the lid off the beer in her car, promising to bring it right back. Don't know if I was more amazed at the unmitigated gaul of the request, or the blank response of the stoic employee, " Sorry Mam, then it would be used and I couldn't sell it."

Two for the price of one...Rude AND Dumb!!


Monday, September 3, 2007

Twofers at Wildthyme

No story here yet...need to interrogate the wait staff about Sunday 2 for 1 dinners.

My wife and I stopped there for dinner on Sunday night having never been before.

The twofer menu had a disclaimer that took up half the page. I could only sit and smile thinking there must be many many many wonderful stories behind something that looks like a car rental agreement.

The Editor

BTW - Excellent Meal

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

The Home Stretch

Yes, it's true. The summer is almost over.

There is still time to get your very own Rude Hamptons bumper sticker.

Submit your rude Hamptons story either via email or via our hot line - 631-771-8361.

I'm still working on East Hampton Fireworks plans, but if people are interested I might be able to hand out some bumper stickers. Leave me a comment and let me know if there is any interest.
The Editor

Do the hokey pokey and I'll toss your ass out

An older couple came into the restaurant looking for a table. The hostess, who is ~ 16, proceeds to tell them it will be 15 minutes until the table is ready.

Two minutes later, the man comes back and asks again for the table. The hostess again says 15 minutes.

At this point he pokes her in the forehead and tells her, "I don't need to be told that by a 12 year old."

Good thing I wasn't there, he would have been arrested.

Editor: Another great story gathered during my travels.

Monday, August 27, 2007

The BYOW Shim-Sham

A group of customers came into an East Hampton restaurant which allows BYOW (bring your own wine). The patrons brought in two of their own bottles. The server explained that there is a corkage fee.

$28 per bottle.

They consumed their meal and the two bottles of their OWN wine.

Comes check time, they tell the server they don't want to pay for two corkage fees.


They didn't enjoy one of the bottles.

Gotta love it.

Sunday, August 26, 2007

GoodFellas in the Hamptons

No matter how big a guy might be, Nicky would take him on. You beat Nicky with fists, he comes back with a bat. You beat him with a knife, he comes back with a gun. And you beat him with a gun, you better kill him, because he'll keep comin' back and back until one of you is dead. - Ace Rothstein in Casino

A working man on a normal mission of delivering his truckload of wood chips had to drive down a shared driveway to the customer. Unfortunately there were three houses sharing this one driveway. At this point the driver wasn't sure which was the right house. He stopped his truck to find out, during that time one of the homeowners came out and started banging on the truck.

The driver stepped out of his truck and asked what the problem was. The man didn't like his truck on the shared driveway. It was tearing it up. The driver told him, "Look, I need to drop off these wood chips. Just doing my job."

The irate man leaves, only to return with a baseball bat with which he started hitting the truck. The driver opened the door holding a tire iron and said, "You want to get rough?"

At this point the man backs off and calls the police. The police then told him wielding bats is not the way to resolve these kinds of situations.

The Editor - I was told this story in a bar over the weekend. What was Batman thinking? Is a yuppie desk worker really any match for a guy who hauls heavy materials and does manual work? Maybe he just finished watching Casino in his home theater.

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Random Act of Kindness

I live in East Hampton and for some reason people find my driveway a convenient place to stop and talk on their cell phone. This action blocks my egress.

The other day I was driving out to leave and sure enough a lady had pulled up to talk on her cell phone on my driveway.

I decided to walk over and ask this lady why she was parking there. I told her I was just curious as why my driveway is so popular, because many other people use it as well.

Much to my surprise she apologized profusely and I thought that would be the end of it.

About an hour later she returned with a bouquet of flowers. WOW!

She bought flowers to apologize. I was completely shocked and thought this would be a good story to submit showing that not everyone in the Hamptons is rude.

- J

Saturday, August 18, 2007

Men in black leave trash behind

The day Elie Tahari had their grand opening in East Hampton a silver car parked on Pantago Road (Main Street) near my residence. The occupants were dressed all in black.

Black shoes, black pants, black undershirts, and black dress shirts.

They came and went from their car all day long, even though it was one hour parking.

Right before I left for work, I noticed one of the MIB walking back from IGA with bags of groceries.

Upon returning later that night I noticed a box of trash left on the road right where their car used to be. The box was filled with empty Gatorade and beer cans.

I'm not sure if the MIB left the trash behind, but it would seem logical.

- Conspiracy Theorist

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

May they be bitten by an army of ants

My family and a large group of our friends made our 3rd annual trip to Montauk (I know, not exactly the Hamptons) and observed some less than considerate behavior.

We were staying at the Royal Atlantic and watched a group of roughly 15 people pick up hotel lounge chairs, and like a well orchestrated army of ants, transport them down to the beach on their backs, in their arms , etc.

As they clogged up the entrance to the beach they could be heard commenting, "We're probably not supposed to bring these down to the beach but I saw some down here yesterday and they were back by the pool this morning."

Later on, and as I expected, most of the group marched back up to the hotel and left their Great Wall of Chairs on the beach. While a few members of the group lingered on the beach nearby, they watched two staff members make about 15 trips back and forth to the beach in 90 degree plus heat and humidity (as told to me by one of the women in my group that happened to be on her balcony overlooking the beach).

- D

Sunday, July 29, 2007

Kindergarten Cops

Sitting in a popular East Hampton restaurant last night my wife and I got to watch and listen to two obnoxious young men and a young UNDERAGE woman hassle the wait staff and manager about a fake ID.

The young women produced an ID and couldn't answer a single question about her supposedly valid drivers license. She looked like she was 12. At this point the staff did the right thing and told her she wasn't going to be served.
I guess the girl was so embarrassed that she left the restaurant, but the men started to hassle the staff even more.

"Do you know who we are?" they asked.

"We came from Westhampton."

The staff made no reply and kept their composures.

Finally the rude duo left to go to another bar where they thought the would be served.

Did these idiots really think a crowded, popular E.H. restaurant would risk being fined for serving alcohol to them?  Besides I can guarantee the rest of the clientèle was relieved to not have to rub shoulders with children on their Saturday night.
- KJ

Thursday, July 26, 2007

WTF on the LIRR

My friend and I were taking the train back from the city when the following conversation occurred between two gentleman a few seats ahead of us.

"Ugh...f***ing train...Y'know what I hate? Those f***ing people who sit on the f***ing trains and make out!"

"Oh- I know! They are so f***ing annoying! It's like, get a f***ing room! Who are you to disturb my f***ing train ride?"

"Y'know that f***ing column in the paper, about f***ers who f***ing piss people off in the train? We should f***ing submit our story to those f***ers."

I've probably left some choice words out, but, needless to say, my friend and I were flabbergasted. Disturb your ride? How dare they!


Sunday, July 22, 2007

Your horn might cause my car to disappear

On my way out to the Hamptons last Friday I stopped for gas in Manorville. As Mobil was jam packed with cars I opted for 7-11 thinking I would gas up quickly and be on my way.

I pulled up to the 2nd pump and began to fill up. The car ahead of me was also gassing up. When I was done and ready to go I saw that I could not pull forward as the car ahead had still not completed his gas transaction. My only option then would be to throw the car in reverse and back out. However, when I checked my rear view I noticed a rather expensive car had backed the rear of his car inches away from me, trapping me at the 7-11 gas pump.

How pray tell did he think any of us were going to escape?

So though I hate the horn, I gave it a tap and waited. Nothing happened. Well what course of action did I have but to put the car in reverse and be ready to move? It seemed to work wonders because said expensive car charged away with lightning speed allowing me to reverse and be on my way.

So at least the debacle ended quickly and with no further calamities.

-Trapped at 7-11

Sunday, July 15, 2007

Aggressive territorial behavior at Indian Wells

My wife and I were enjoying a day at Indian Wells last summer. After walking down to the left of the ABA beach club we sat down with about a ten foot buffer zone around our two chairs and umbrella. We weren't on waterfront beach property about three rows back from the shoreline.

At someone point a few people showed up and sat down in our buffer zone. They were loud and broke out some beer from their cooler.

Next thing we know about ten other people show up. They proceeded to wedge themselves into the space around us.

At one point a woman sitting behind my wife started moving my wife's beach chair with her feet. She called her out on it. To this she said, "Sorry."

I headed down for a dunk in the ocean. I came back and some toolbox was now sitting on one of our towels proceeding to try and hit on my wife. She sent him packing, but he didn't get off the towel. That changed when I returned.

- Surrounded by idiots

Weekly Wrap Up

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If you don't fell comfortable sending a story take a picture of a bumper sticker in action and I'll send you one.

The Editor

Sunday, July 8, 2007

Clearly you don't look rich enough to shop here

I was told this story last night while watching the Devon fireworks.

The new linen store in East Hampton was having some type of party or gathering and a lady who normally bikes around town decided to stop in and take a look.

Now from what I'm told she can easily afford to buy what this shop is selling.

She's browsing the linens and feeling a particular sheet when one of the staff walks up and says something to the effect of, "you know that's really expensive, you shouldn't be touching that."

The lady shopping was so stunned she replied, "I can afford to buy this."

Please note: these quotes are not verbatim, but the act of judging this shopper based on her dress is rude. Maybe if she drove up on the curb with a Benz or Hummer she'd be allowed to touch the merchandise?

- The Editor

Saturday, July 7, 2007

Once there were six now there are three

This is personal post from me, The Editor, regarding rude corporate behavior on the Amagansett beaches.

On June 2nd a Ralph Lauren cologne related entity setup for a photo shoot on an Amagansett beach. On this same beach there also happened to be 6 pairs of Piping Plovers nesting.

Piping Plovers are a protected species. There are fences around their nesting areas, fireworks are canceled and rescheduled to avoid bothering them. Ralph Lauren proceeded to setup extremely close to the birds' nesting areas with a large tent structure.

Worse than that though, six Land Rovers were seen speeding up and down the beach. Newspaper articles quote that they were doing 50 miles per hour.

Irregardless of whether they really were going 50, the speed limit on the beaches is 15 miles per hour.

There was also a lack of required permits- no permit for the beach and no permit for filming. They did have a fire permit for the tent. (Source: East Hampton Star)

To top it off, there are now apparently only three pairs left.  The aggressive driving and tent structures scared off the other three.

Locals are upset, the Town Trustees want action taken against Ralph Lauren. The federal and state officials don't seem to want to do ANYTHING.

Even if the state and federal governments don't do a thing, Ralph Lauren should repent and give a sizable donation to one of the many nature preservation organizations on the East End.

If you want send an email to their customer service department and let them know your thoughts - CustomerAssistance@RalphLauren.com

- The Editor

BYOM - Bring your own muffin

I was in the Candy Kitchen politely waiting for a booth or counter spot. Needless to say an older woman jumped the line and ordered a cup of coffee.

While I was still in shock over the blatant disregard for the social order of the eatery, she pulled a muffin out of her pocket and asked if they could toast it for her.

- Stunned and still waiting in line

Friday, July 6, 2007

Four Simple Tips To Avoid Dying and other Personal Calamities

Ah yes, that lovely time of year we call Memorial Day is once again upon us. Here are some lovely tips to our day trippers, weekenders, three or four monthers, etc, as this time of year can surely become rather dangerous to anyone and everyone.

Tip One:

Summer, when a Sunday drive before church becomes an adrenaline-fueled game of chicken with 3-50 bicyclists, riding side by side down our scenic "country" roads. Wearing unflatteringly tight spandex of a plethora of clashing fluorescent epilepsy-inducing colors, they have a tendency to dive in and out of oncoming traffic like crazed deer at the sight of headlights. That double yellow line running down the middle of the road is not intended as a bicycle lane, my friend, and those loud greenhouse gas inducing objects coming at you or honking madly as you slow down traffic do indeed have front bumpers for a reason.

Tip Two:

A warm, inviting Friday night on the town can also have its hazards. What should be a stroll through the crosswalk of Main Street on your way to a ten-fifty it-better-be-good movie becomes a race for your life, since the signal for pedestrians to walk safely has an average lifespan of about 1.26534 seconds. Perhaps that little green man should be edited, because to me he looks like he's walking, not sprinting the fifty yard dash. Stop lights are not a mere suggestion for a Lexus or a Mercedes, you are just as obligated to stop as that landscaper truck waiting next to you.

For those who have failed to translate the little sign that reads "Yield to pedestrians", in English it means "For the Love of God Don't Hit That Person Crossing The Street!!"

Tip Three:

It is not considered polite or professional to curse and then spit at the young lady or gentleman who made your lunch at one of our many local food establishments, while calling her an idiot because she put iceberg lettuce on your tree bark and tofu sandwich instead of romaine. Think about it, do you REALLY want to eat food that was made or remade by a person who is secretly wishing to hit you with a crow bar? I wouldn't.

Tip Four:

Have you ever wondered why, after entering a quiet local bar and ordering a tutti frutti razzle dazzle drink that involves being mixed drop by drop, shaken exactly 37 and a half times, poured into a champagne flute and then topped with an umbrella and a three foot yellow twisty straw (Hold the cherry), that you get laughed at and possibly assaulted before the end of the night? That's because you've entered an establishment of normal, average people. If you want something fancy that tastes like pixie sticks, go to one of those places where you have to pay to snort flavored oxygen. You're the reason why a simple beer in a bottle is a whopping five dollars.

Here's to another Summer in The Hamptons, and I hope you take these kind words of advice and cherish them, to make this season as happy as the last.


Wednesday, July 4, 2007

Mommy what does bullcrap mean?

A woman bellowing loud enough into her cell phone to be heard from the Cooper's Beach overpriced hot dog stand all the way down to the lifeguard stand. This - the day before July 4th - today.

"No you SOB -- I told you I was picking the kids up tonight for the birthday party! "That's Bullcrap - yes she actually said bullcrap -- not the saltier version of the word - maybe just trying to be polite with the hoards of children around her listening to her post-marital bloviating

She goes on and on on what a lowlife, bottom dwelling scum her ex husband is - screeching at the top of her lungs - actually bumps into and nearly knocks over someone else's child on the way to the parking lot to continue her screech-fest (very considerate) ..and didn't stop talking as she ignored the child she bumped.

Do people - especially Southamptonites - have a clue they can be overheard on their cell phone. Other overheard LOUD cell phone conversations on the beach -- people discussing salaries - multimillion dollar confidential deals -- talking trash about easily recognizable people. All thinking they are in the privacy of their home.

Astonished on Coopers....

Tuesday, July 3, 2007

Tax Free Coffees

I stop in the Hess station the other day for smokes and two women are arguing with the cashier that they are some sort of non profit organization, they don't have to pay tax for their two cups of coffee. The clerk, will not comply with their demand, and the two women leave the coffee sitting on the counter and storm out.

If these women were really ligit they would have a NY State tax ID number. Then while I am watching this fiasco, another women picks up a 12 pack of Pepsi and walks out the front door with it. I pointed this theft out to the cashier and she just laughs.

What a zoo!


Monday, July 2, 2007

Supermarket Line Shim-Sham

Shopping for groceries at King Kullen.

First, plant your husband in line.

Then shop.

Then try and push your cart ahead of me to get up to your husband at the front of the line.

Then watch me say, "I'm sorry, the back of the line is there."

Then try and push anyway.

Then listen to me say, "you know, some other day, I might actually let you break into the line, but not today. I really have to pee."


No parking spaces - use the curb

The strangest part about this story is that it happened in the off season - go figure.

My friends and I were enjoying pizza at Fierros in town, when some idiot pulls his Benz up on the sidewalk, thats right, the sidewalk alongside the exit lane to Reutershan lot. He walks in, as if parking on the sidewalk is totally fine. One of the locals, as well as the guys behind the counter start to explain nicely to this guy that he can't park on the sidewalk, but he ignores them and pays for the pizza he had come to pick up.

A local guy (who was much bigger than the antagonist of this story) starts to get a little aggressive, giving the guy a little grief for his absurd act. The idiot tries to ignore him, then turns to leave and mutters "What are you gonna do about it?" We were all too dumbfounded to speak.

This shows were not safe from idiots like this, even in the off season. I hope he choked on his pizza.


Sunday, July 1, 2007

Pass on the left it's safer

I was in the left hand turn lane to turn off 27 (near the post office). The light was green but there was a lot of oncoming traffic. I was waiting for my turn and just as it occurred, the black truck behind me PASSED me on the left (going over the double yellow into the oncoming traffic lane) and made the turn ahead of me. I just missed turning into him. My shock leaves me wondering where rudeness borders on dangerous.

Oh, I missed my chance and had to wait for 10 more cars before I could go.


Hamptons Magazine Causes Parking Lot Traffic Jam

I was driving through the main parking lot behind Walbaums, etc, where painted white arrows clearly mark which direction you are supposed to be driving when heading down the parking lanes. I was carefully headed in the correct direction, when I needed to pass someone who was waiting for a spot. As I pulled around, someone was coming in the other direction, just at the beginning of the lane basically sitting on the arrow pointing towards the back of their car. I tried to tell him he needed to back up so traffic could move.

Instead, he made some gestures, then opened a Hamptons Magazine and sat their and read it while me, and everyone behind me, waited for the other car to pull into the space.

This delayed everyone, just so this guy could 'win' by driving in the wrong direction.

What a rude idiot!


Winning Country Driving Techniques

What is it with these Weekenders and Summerpeople that renders them incapable of remaining in their lane when negotiating a left-bending road?

No curved roads in The City or SOTH (south of the highway)?
I live in Northwest Woods and it seems that as soon as summer begins, I have to be on High Alert when I am driving on our beautiful back roads, especially when I am entering a right-bending turn. These nimrods seem to be oblivious that, in addition of other motor vehicles, there are joggers, cyclists, and walkers on these roads. My wife's most-often used advice/admonishment is if you don't drive during the week, leave your car home when you come Out East.


Call Of The Wild Taxi

It's a beautiful Saturday afternoon and I'm enjoying a brew after hanging out under my car all day and a lazy All Hamptons taxi driver has turned around in my driveway twice now and continues to drive by the neighbors house honking his horn looking for his fare!!

Why can't this guy get out of the car and knock on the damn door?!

- B

Please stop squeezing the bagels

I was at Schmidt's and there was a man there with 3 kids buying bagels. One of the kids points out what bagel he wanted. So the father grabs the bagel without a tong and puts it in the bag.

Kid says, "I don't want that one." The grabs the bagel out with his hands and puts it back. Then proceeds to grab and put back three different bagels.

- No Bagels for me today

Saturday, June 30, 2007

Get Your Very Own Rude Hamptons Bumper Sticker

They have finally arrived, TheRudeHamptons.com bumper stickers. They are black with white lettering, a great way to detail your bumper and potentially ward off rude people.

I have limited supplies, but if you want one I'll make it really easy.
Click on the right - share your story.

Submit your story and your name and address. Don't worry I won't reveal your information and I will send you one in the mail.

The Editor

Self-Service Coffee

I'm standing in Golden Pear trying to buy a cup of coffee. There were two twenty-something men standing at the coffee urns.

They're standing there for 5 minutes and nobody else can get to the coffee. It's self serve.

They start hassling the lady behind the counter about not being waited on.

The counter lady promptly pointed to the urns.

They grumbled and got their coffee. No apologies for yelling at the lady for their own idiocy.

- Java Joe

Thursday, June 28, 2007

Witches are back in Sag Harbor?

My husband, son, and I were working in a Sag Harbor store refinishing the floors.

I just finished vacuuming and was bringing the vacuum out to the van. As I was doing this two couples walked by and one of the women said, "Look at this modern day witch."

I promptly said to the husband, "you'd better watch your wife, or she'll get knocked on her ass."

I walked back inside and told my son what the lady said. My son asked, "where are they now?"

My son walked into 7-11 and said to the woman, "you know that was my mother you were talking to. You know that was really rude and uncalled for."
At this point I walked up to her and asked her, "Do you have anything to say now since I don't have a vacuum in my hand?"

She replied, "No, no."

- Hotline caller

Please note I had to transcribe this and I accidentally deleted if after hearing it a few times. Still learning this voice mail system. Caller if I missed something please call me back or post a comment. Thanks! The Editor

Friday, June 22, 2007

Let's bring gridlock to East Hampton

Earlier this week I was driving West on Route 27 into East Hampton. As I approached a red light at the intersection of 27 with Newtown Lane, cars were piling up so I stopped to avoid blocking the left turn for North Main Street.

Once I stop the car behind me proceeds to hold down his horn. Not a beep, or a toot. If I hadn't looked back I would have assumed he had a heart attack and slumped onto the steering wheel. Not so, he just thought it would be a good idea to bring some gridlock to East Hampton.

Click here to see the view from Google Maps.

- B

Monday, June 18, 2007

Down in front!

I went to Southampton Beach with my husband, my 2 children, my girlfriend, her 3 children and 4 other friends (twelve people in all). The beach was crowded that day so we looked for a spot just passed the life guard, but close enough to them. There was a women sitting further back on the beach. We started to set up our area closer to the water as we had 1 small child with us. The woman kept staring at me so I finally ask her why. She replies "Your blocking my view". I didn't know you can own a view on the beach.
- K

- Editor: What are the the proper beach rules? Normally if the tide goes out I move closer if I value ocean front seating.

Sunday, June 10, 2007

Share your stories with us the easy way

TheRudeHamptons.com is now proud to accept phone submissions of your rude stories.

Call us at 631-771-8361


The Editor

Friday, June 1, 2007

You can't park here, bub

The fact that the Village Board has decided to extend the two hour parking limit in the Reutershan lot is completely absurd. They village clearly does not listen to the voices of the people who work in the village, as demonstrated by a recent article in the East Hampton Star.
At the very least the Village should provide transportation between the Long Term lot and the village, ideally through the use of a multi-passenger golf cart which can be equipped with a top and sides to protect riders during inclement weather and which would be able to drive through the Herrick Park, making the trip must shorter than the previously under-used bus that had serviced the long term lot during the summer months only.

Clearly this is an attempt by the village to raise money through parking tickets as there is no logical reason for enforcing this two hour limit during the off season months.

Alternatively the Village should consider enforcing the parking time limit every day only from Memorial Day to Labor Day and then on Friday, Saturday and Sundays through the rest of the year with transportation provided during the times of bad weather and earlier sunsets.
- RM

Sunday, May 27, 2007

Welcome my son, welcome to the machine

Yesterday I needed to get a fruit basket as a thank you gift for the host of a bridal shower. I stopped in Citarella's looking for the elusive fruit basket.

Mass chaos - no fruit baskets to be found

I decided that I'd get a cup of coffee instead and leave.

At this point I'm near the exit and there is a line of shoppers with carts running down into the aisle. I walked up to a man and asked if he would move his cart so I could get back to the coffee near the entrance of the store.

He turns to me and says, "No, I'm a very busy man."

I'm not entirely sure what exactly that has to do with moving a cart to let me slide through.

My solution: walk out the exit and walk back in the entrance.

As I was leaving I noticed another man with ~six shopping carts full of food. I guess he thought he ordered on FreshDirect because he was becoming irate when he found out he actually had to stand on line to check out all the items.

- Still looking for my fruit basket

Oops I Forgot My Eye Patch

This is not a rude posting, more a odd posting.

Maybe a new trend is starting, but Friday night at Cittanuova we saw a lady walk up with a large parrot on her shoulder.

Are parrots the new pocket book dogs?

Should we expect Paris Hilton to have her own parrot soon.

Stay tuned, we'll keep an eye on this minor trend.

Maybe it'll go the pirate route.
The Editor

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

The Impatient Idiot at Waldbaums

So I'm on my 1/2 hour lunch break and I go to Waldbaums. After getting a sandwich, a snack, and a drink, I get in the self-checkout line. I happen to see my sister in one line and a customer of mine in another (my witnesses). So now it’s my turn. I scan my items and hit the pay button. A lady begins getting nasty with me demanding, "Do you think you could move your stuff?"

I answered with a raise brow, "I have to pay first."

She yells back to me, "Well, ya think you could move your stuff so I can start scanning?"

Speaking slowly so this idiot understands, I reply, "I can't remove my stuff until I pay. And you can't scan 'til I move my stuff."

She huffs in anger and goes to a cashier line embarrassed by her stupidity. My sister, my customer, and I look at each other. "My god, what an idiot", one of them replies. "Doesn't she think how long we've been waiting?" Says another.

It’s great to have witnesses to this kind of stupidity.


Where's the Kinko's?

Someone comes into my store asking some questions like where to eat, and how to get around. "Is there a Kinko's around here?" she asks.

"No." I reply. Hearing about this place but not remembering what service the place provides I ask, "What is a Kinko's?" hoping to be able to provide her with similar service. My co-workers all say, "Yeah, what is a Kinko's?"

Shocked by our lack of knowledge of this service provider she says, "WHAT? You don't know what a Kinko's is? How cute!!!!" She goes on saying someting..small town..coutry..isolated..

I swear if I weren't working I would have asked/said things like "Oh you've never been to a beach? Never seen snow? Seen real wild whales? Had a LI iced tea?"

You get the idea. How rude!!!