Missy Misses Your Taillights

I was parked in the back of the hardware store in Sag Harbor the other day when a local guy in a pick-up pulled into the spot next to mine.  I was getting into my car to leave when I noticed that a very new and expensive vehicle had stopped - blocking both myself and the pick-up truck in, and positioned on a diagonal to stop both lanes of traffic on the road that runs behind the village (this is a critical route if you know Sag!) 

The female driver gets out of the car, indignant, and starts yelling at the pick-up truck, "You have no tail lights! You could have backed right into me!! I couldn't see you!!" 

The pick-up driver just sat in his car laughing. I said to her "Do you mind moving your car?" 

"Well he doesn't have any taillights!!" said she, while traffic was backing up in both directions. 

I replied "I know, I heard - but do you see how you are blocking everyone right now? You could pull out of the way to tell him, if you are having a problem." 

She didn't like that at all. She continued her rant.  "Put yourself in my shoes, missy!!" was her parting shot. Missy happens to be my nick-name, but that's beside the point. She said it with a lower case "m".

Regards,

Elizabeth (aka Missy)

Space Invaders at LT Burger

To the person who sat next to us in LT Burger tonight (Sunday the 4th): 

HELLO, stay in your space! 

My poor hubby could not even pick up his hamburger because you were playing with your little girl and literally IN HIS seating area! 

Yes, it's a tight restaurant, but if she sat in the child's chair they brought you and NOT on your chair WITH you, you wouldn't be practically in my hubby's lap!

- TS

Citizens On Poop Patrol

A few years back, a coworker and I were eating egg sandwiches at Long Beach before work. 2 guys pulled up in their new BMW and got out about to take a run. They have a dog with them which then takes a huge dump on the beach.  

The boys watch, but don't clean it up. 

I ask if they are going to take care of it and one of them tells me to mind my own business and run off. I then took the plastic bag from my sandwich and pick up the dog crap.  I smeared it all over all the door handles of the car. 

As we left, we dove by the boys I told them to have a nice day!!

- J

First Rule of Pie Club

My mother and I  took a walk from our August rental place to the Saturday Sag Harbor Farmers' market. We are enthusiastic patrons and we made numerous purchases of the usual goodies. 

At our final stop at one of the flower vendors, we noticed this  ONE and ONLY wonderful looking tomato pie. My mother, curious about the pie, proceeded to ask the vendor about the ingredients. At the same time, a woman was finishing her purchase, so we were waiting patiently when all of a sudden the patron said, "Give me that too"- pointing at the remaining pie. After leaving, the vendor said she only wanted that pie because we noticed it. 

We hope that this woman and others like her remember to bring their manners with them to the market and everywhere else.

- Lost My Pie

Triple Play at the American Hotel

I was waiting for my husband at The American Hotel, while waiting three women walk in, butt ahead of me, look at me, shrug their shoulders and say:  "She's a dyke."  and roll their eyes.  It would not matter if I was or not, but I had just finished chemo treatment for breast cancer and had no hair.

Can everyone just be nice?

I have been enjoying some of the stories on your website.

I notice there are very few if any stories of rude people that live out here full-time. I am sick of the loud, jersey shore type thumping music that our "local" neighbors grown kids play all weekend out here. I cannot believe how much is charged for the most simple service yet still it's never done. How lazy and resentful have people gotten?

Two weeks ago my friend and I were shopping at the Sag Harbor Surf shop and asking the nice cashier about all the various sunscreens during our checkout. I suppose we took too long for the young locals behind us as they rudely and loudly muttered "Tourists."

I can assure you; we are far from tourists here and even if we were what does that even matter?  I think it's time to realize that it's best not to be so bitter with each other whatever the reason.

Life is too short and so is summer!

-B

Paranoid Profiling Employees in the Emporium

On a snowy December morning I rushed to The Emporium in Sag Harbor to get a part for a failed toilet. The store had not opened on time and I had to wait outside with other customers.

I was looking in the plumbing department for the needed part and noticed that the help was carefully avoiding offering to help me. I continued my search and heard from behind me one of the young gentlemen employed there saying loudly, "I'm going for coffee" then refering to me in the other aisle he said, "watch him," like I was some kind of potential thief.

After he left I found the part I was looking for and went to pay. A teenage boy was at the counter with an embarrassed look on his face and I said to him, "I was offended by the comment 'watch him' when he should have said 'can I help you?'"

This group of youthful employees are rude and have an "attitude" when it comes to being helped. This is not the first time I have observed this in this store. In all fairness, I must say that another employee did go out of his way to help me at another time but the general feeling I get in this store is disdain for the customers.

I am an East End retailer and would never treat my customers this way. I grew up in Sag Harbor and I think the young employees of this store need an attitude adjustment. They are not even a shadow of the old Emporium or Barry's Hardware.

-J

Privateers take to the roads in Sag Harbor

The hurry that people have while driving still makes me crazy with Hamptons drivers.

This weekend I had the pleasure of being passed while doing 30 in a 25 in the middle of town on Sagg road/Madison street.

To the middle age idiot driving the vet, your car sucks so much, please we are not impressed.

Now for the Audi A7 who blew the stop sing at Main and Madison then honked and flipped me off, his wife did too.

First off, very classy, second perhaps a course in drivers ed would do you some good.

When you have a stop sign here is a hint, stop.

When the on coming lane has the right away, let them go.

Flooring your car, driving at them and flipping them off while you honk shows you have no idea how to drive or read road signs.

As for the rude girl next to you, f-off, your fat.

- EB

Horny Bird Flashes Woman In Sag Harbor

I was driving to Sag Harbor for the weekend with a couple of friends.

All of a sudden, a LAMBORGHINI was on my a**...he continually was honking his horn & flashing his headlights.

He drove around me, while continuing to flash his lights/honking his horn... Gave me a BIRD, how sweet!

Where did he think he was??

In Germany, on the AUTOBAHN???

- EP

Honk If You Like the Bird In Sag Harbor

I was driving down main street in Sag Harbor and stopped to let parents who were carrying a baby go across the legal crosswalk.

Suddenly a man (if you want to call him that) in a BMW convertible goes around me and gives me the finger when I honk at him.

By the way, he nearly hit the poor family.

I took his plate # and called the S.H. police to let them know about it.

Sag Harbor needs summer TCO's to help with their traffic situation on main street and the 6 way stops by the wharf and bridge area.  East Hampton has TCO's everywhere.

Oh, and by the way, if everyone would just stop tailgating there would be no gridlock either.

- CP

No Cash, No Carry in Sag Harbor

So, I decided to get out early on Saturday morning to do some yard saling. Me and my sister ran into Noyak Deli in Sag Harbor to get breakfast. We ordered and were just standing around waiting for it to be ready.

A little later, two young college dropout looking guys go up to the counter with five or six cases of beer and start yelling at the cashier because the store doesn't take ATM Cards and they have no other way of payment.

Me and my sister were actually scared to go get our breakfasts on the counter once they were ready because of how angry these guys were getting.

It's not the cashier's fault they don't take ATM Cards! And it's not like there's anything they can do about it. You don't have money? Sucks for you! Yelling will not make an ATM Machine suddenly appear so chill out and enjoy your vacation in the Hamptons.

- Hannah

New Jersey plates cause for accident fault presumptions

I was making a left on Bay Street into a private driveway this past week; I had my left turn signal on.

A contractor truck proceeds to pass me on the LEFT as I was turning. Needless to say there was a serious accident. My car is probably totaled.

What makes this unreal is that when the cop showed up he couldn't figure out who was at fault for the accident. He said something to the effect that I had New Jersey license plates so maybe I didn't know what I was doing.

One small problem with his theory, I grew up in the Hamptons.

- Local

In thinking up a title for this one, I've coined a new Hamptons term, New Jidiot: New Jersey Idiot. PLEASE NOTE: "Local" is not the idiot in this story.

Park It Like It's Hot

Usually I do not like to stereotype tourists out here. I grew up out here and know that some tourists are nice and some locals are jerks. Just like all populations, there are always a few bad apples.

I'm getting really annoyed though. Yesterday I was on the wharf in Sag Harbor when I watched as 4 twentysomethings parked their car in an area that not only was not a parking spot but also was an obstacle to cars trying to leave the
wharf.

Now, most people would have realized from the honking and astonished stares that SOMETHING just wasn't right here. Nope, they get out and start to walk away. I decide to say (nicely too, giving them the benefit of th doubt that they didn't realize their error) "Hey, that isn't a parking spot" which they laugh at and keep walking.

WTF? I hope their car got a ticket and a boot. Just because this is the 'country' doesn't mean you can break the law. Some people here have jobs and places to be, have some respect!

- Annoyed K

How to Recession Proof Your Coffee Shop Business

Saturday Aug 30. Labor Day Weekend.

I go into Java Nation like I've been doing pretty much every day. I know everyone that works there & has worked there. I have a thermos which grants me a small discount on a cup of coffee there.

Every day it's $1.00, regardless of who's working.

But today one of the owners (pretty obvious which one since the other one is cool as shit) told me $1.75. I actually had only brought four quarters with me, so I had to bring up the discrepancy.

The owner got mad with me about disputing the price & took my coffee out of my hand & tossed it into the sink, handed me back my empty thermos, & yelled GET OUT & pointed to the door.

I really wasn't going to force the issue and was about to ask her if I can bring her the 75 cents next time, since I'm in there everyday but by that time she was already wasting my coffee down the sink.

My suggestion is f*ckin hire somebody so she don't have to be behind the counter cuz that sh!t isn't working.

- Devoted Java Nation Customer

A Nickel For Your Thoughts

Read Heather's post and thought I'd share.

I'm a Sag Harbor native now living in Arizona. Yeah, I wish it was the way it was when we were growing up (for me that would be the late 60s, 70s, and early 80s).

When I was 12, I worked at a farm stand on the highway in Sagaponack. (This was about 1979 or 1980.) Every Sunday the highway was crammed wtih traffic going back to the city. We had a lot of business on Sundays.

One day a woman bought a bunch of produce. About ten minutes later she returned to the stand, stood in front of me, and uncurled her hand, which held a nickel.

I didn't get it, but being a polite young (country) boy, I asked her if could help her. "You shortchanged me a nickel," she said, delivered in an intonation which suggested I'd committed an offense on a par with running over one of her children in the street.

Some things have never changed out there, Heather. Just the good things.

Scott S.

Witches are back in Sag Harbor?

My husband, son, and I were working in a Sag Harbor store refinishing the floors.

I just finished vacuuming and was bringing the vacuum out to the van. As I was doing this two couples walked by and one of the women said, "Look at this modern day witch."

I promptly said to the husband, "you'd better watch your wife, or she'll get knocked on her ass."

I walked back inside and told my son what the lady said. My son asked, "where are they now?"
"7-11"

My son walked into 7-11 and said to the woman, "you know that was my mother you were talking to. You know that was really rude and uncalled for."
At this point I walked up to her and asked her, "Do you have anything to say now since I don't have a vacuum in my hand?"

She replied, "No, no."

- Hotline caller

Please note I had to transcribe this and I accidentally deleted if after hearing it a few times. Still learning this voice mail system. Caller if I missed something please call me back or post a comment. Thanks! The Editor