Missy Misses Your Taillights

I was parked in the back of the hardware store in Sag Harbor the other day when a local guy in a pick-up pulled into the spot next to mine.  I was getting into my car to leave when I noticed that a very new and expensive vehicle had stopped - blocking both myself and the pick-up truck in, and positioned on a diagonal to stop both lanes of traffic on the road that runs behind the village (this is a critical route if you know Sag!) 

The female driver gets out of the car, indignant, and starts yelling at the pick-up truck, "You have no tail lights! You could have backed right into me!! I couldn't see you!!" 

The pick-up driver just sat in his car laughing. I said to her "Do you mind moving your car?" 

"Well he doesn't have any taillights!!" said she, while traffic was backing up in both directions. 

I replied "I know, I heard - but do you see how you are blocking everyone right now? You could pull out of the way to tell him, if you are having a problem." 

She didn't like that at all. She continued her rant.  "Put yourself in my shoes, missy!!" was her parting shot. Missy happens to be my nick-name, but that's beside the point. She said it with a lower case "m".

Regards,

Elizabeth (aka Missy)

Citizens On Poop Patrol

A few years back, a coworker and I were eating egg sandwiches at Long Beach before work. 2 guys pulled up in their new BMW and got out about to take a run. They have a dog with them which then takes a huge dump on the beach.  

The boys watch, but don't clean it up. 

I ask if they are going to take care of it and one of them tells me to mind my own business and run off. I then took the plastic bag from my sandwich and pick up the dog crap.  I smeared it all over all the door handles of the car. 

As we left, we dove by the boys I told them to have a nice day!!

- J

Five Second Rule With Handicap Parking

Blond drives up in Porsche in front of Dreesen's in East Hampton and asks the traffic officer how long she could park in handicap spot with no sticker.

- J

Do as I do, not as you do

I can't stand it! HELLO?!!! The car behind me was flashing his blue emergency light in the windshield (volunteer firefighter rushing to a call)

...me in bumper-to-bumper traffic just outside of Bridgehampton ...

I finally was able to pull into an opening between two utility vehicles parked on the side of the road to let the guy pass, and HALF A DOZEN trucks and cars continued after him, not ONE letting me back in!

RUDE RUDE RUDE! And I KNOW none of THEM let him pass!

It's a LAW to let emergency vehicles sirens and lights blasting to go past you! And how RUDE not to let those of us who do, to let us back into the lane! AAAuuugh!

- Good Samaritan

Blind spots on Three Mile Harbor road

A number of years ago, this was the rudest thing that happened to me and my husband.

We were at the intersection of Springs Fireplace Road and Three Mile Harbor road when a large suv swung in on our right and purposely blocked our view so we couldn't see if any traffic was coming down Three Mile Harbor road. He sat there for at least 4 or 5 minutes so we just took our chance and pulled out onto the road.

We didn't dare challenge him as there are so many crazies out there.

-C

Citizens on patrol in Southampton

About 6 yrs ago, my husband who is a volunteer fireman, while camping at Coopers Beach attending the Southampton muster.

This little old lady with her VW bug was turning around in the parking lot. She hit a truck, hit the same truck again in her attempt to turn around and was about to leave the parking lot. So a bunch of us decided to stand in front of her car so she couldn't leave.

She told us that "she was late for her tennis lesson" and wanted to leave.

We just waited for the police to arrive and the owner of the truck to arrive as we stood in front of her car so she couldn't leave!

So that was my "Rude in the Hamptons" Story

- LL

This is how we do it

It's not just out-of-town a**holes who make you wonder...

We enjoy the ocean beach by Mecox Bay and drove to the end of Flying Point Road when we saw an open space and parked.

Some a**hole came running over screaming "that's ours, we've been waiting for that space!"

Grandma (who was driving her red mini) said, "What do you mean?"

A**hole said, "We've lived here ten years and that's how we do it."

Grandma said, "I've lived here 25 years and never heard of that."

The nerve of some people!

Does buying an Escalade (or such) include rights over other people, or just the right to be an a**hole (and greedy gas guzzler)?

- OG

Privateers take to the roads in Sag Harbor

The hurry that people have while driving still makes me crazy with Hamptons drivers.

This weekend I had the pleasure of being passed while doing 30 in a 25 in the middle of town on Sagg road/Madison street.

To the middle age idiot driving the vet, your car sucks so much, please we are not impressed.

Now for the Audi A7 who blew the stop sing at Main and Madison then honked and flipped me off, his wife did too.

First off, very classy, second perhaps a course in drivers ed would do you some good.

When you have a stop sign here is a hint, stop.

When the on coming lane has the right away, let them go.

Flooring your car, driving at them and flipping them off while you honk shows you have no idea how to drive or read road signs.

As for the rude girl next to you, f-off, your fat.

- EB

WTF is up with that?

I have witnessed some pretty rude treatment of our animal friends in the Hamptons:

You wouldn't put your toddler or best friend in the back of an open pickup truck....why put your dog in that kind of danger?

How about the guy who ran into my vet's office with his injured dog who said he put his dog in the back of the truck and the dog saw a squirrel and jumped out. (duh) Instinct will take over.

Imagine when you stop suddenly and your dog flies out of the truck, or worse, you run over your own dog.

I've heard of that happening. It's called centrifical force.

How about when people leave their dogs to bake in an oven called their car?

Anyone noticed the carnage on the road? There is a lot of animal traffic on our roads.  Where's the fire? Slow down folks, these are country roads.

Is it just me or is there a tailgating epidemic these days.

I work in a retail store and we have our very own reality show out the window.

One of the many rude things we witness regularly are the folks who pull up and park in the handicapped space and then get out and walk away looking perfectly healthy.

Not cool.

One day recently two customers came in and said that someone had purposely hit their car to keep them from getting into a parking space.

Then there's the guy who owns his very own traffic cone and uses it to save himself a parking spot.

We also had a customer who said that if we didn't immediately produce a missing part to the chair he bought he would throw it through our glass storefront.

My friendly farm stand guy says that people pull up right in front of the door, blocking everyone else from entering and shout out to him from the window without getting out, "Gimme this and gimme that." They expect him to go to and from the car to deliver the fruits and vegetables and collect money and then return with change.

Ever notice people literally standing dangerously close to the road (with their kids) to feed the swans in the East Hampton pond?

Is it just me or does common sense go out the window?

- Is it just me?

Biker Gets Citidiot Escort Down Bluff Road

Two days ago me and my dad had come back from a long day of surfing, some lady was on Bluff road in Amagansett in the middle of the road on her bike.

My dad gave the car in front of us a little honk. Then we noticed that the car was with the biker, we where stuck behind them all the way to the skate park.

City people suck, can't wait for school and cityidots to leave.

- BL

Wannabe Escalade Pickup Passes On the Left Hand Side

So, I'm driving to work this morning on Route 27 as I do every day from the monument in Bridgehampton going East.

Usually everyone is very careful to abide by the 20mph speed limit as they pass the Bridgehampton School.

Not today... a guy in his Escalade pickup honks and point at the upcoming 30 mph sign and then passes me on the left, crossing over the double yellow line. He speeds ahead (while on his cellphone) and I get a thrill when I catch up to him seconds later, at a dead stop at the red light.

Seriously, what's the point?

- Shop Girl

Who asked who for directions

I worked for a utility company before I retired. My work area was from the canal to Montauk.

I was reading a message by the side of the road in Bridgehampton when a Mercedes pulled up and the woman behind the wheel rolled down her window and asked where Mecox rd was.

I told her to go to the end of Halsey lane and Mecox Rd would there. She said no it's not and I shouldn't be working for a utility if I didn't know how to direct her to Mecox Rd. With that she drove off toward Southampton.

- BD

Horny Bird Flashes Woman In Sag Harbor

I was driving to Sag Harbor for the weekend with a couple of friends.

All of a sudden, a LAMBORGHINI was on my a**...he continually was honking his horn & flashing his headlights.

He drove around me, while continuing to flash his lights/honking his horn... Gave me a BIRD, how sweet!

Where did he think he was??

In Germany, on the AUTOBAHN???

- EP

Honk If You Like the Bird In Sag Harbor

I was driving down main street in Sag Harbor and stopped to let parents who were carrying a baby go across the legal crosswalk.

Suddenly a man (if you want to call him that) in a BMW convertible goes around me and gives me the finger when I honk at him.

By the way, he nearly hit the poor family.

I took his plate # and called the S.H. police to let them know about it.

Sag Harbor needs summer TCO's to help with their traffic situation on main street and the 6 way stops by the wharf and bridge area.  East Hampton has TCO's everywhere.

Oh, and by the way, if everyone would just stop tailgating there would be no gridlock either.

- CP

Volunteer, Get Lost, Get A Ticket

My son and I were volunteering at a benefit in East Hampton on Sat 8/14 and as we were leaving, I was trying to find my way to main st, via a side street and was pulled over by a rude police office, who claimed I was speeding.

I explained I am not from the area and was trying to find my way out and was not speeding down a side street, he was so rude and gave me a ticket.

- M

Cell Phone Zombies Prowling Around

It's the people who leave trash all over the place, or talk really loudly on their cellphones while bumping into you walking on sidewalks or in stores ... or the jerk who sat in her huge SUV in the firezone at Waldbaums, blocking the narrow roadway and people from getting their cars OUT of their parking spaces, who shrugged and kept yapping away on her phone when I banged on her windshield.

-TS

Town Pond Father Daughter Demolition Derby

Ok. This one tops it for me.

While driving west towards town pond in East Hampton, we were passed by a luxurious Mercedes driven by a young chickie.  She passed my son after the merge, and cut him off.

Moments later, she plowed into the back of another Mercedes.

Of course I told my son to pull over, so we pulled in behind both vehicles. The elderly man in the first car (also a fancy smancy Mercedes) got out of his car and sat on the grass. I walked over to him, when he gestured at me to go away, and rudely told me that he was okay and didn't need help.

Thinking he was in shock, I asked if he was sure.  He was sure alright.

My son had approached us by this time, and didn't even have the chance to ask if everyone were okay, when the man told my 17 yr old son to f@*k off.

We retreated back to the car, and the drivers proceeded to get back in their car. The young chippie pulled an illegal u-turn, dented up front end and all, and headed back east. The man took an alternate route.

I guess it doesn't take too much to surmise that the rude man got plowed into by his own daughter, hence dismissing us and any help. I guess he would rather pay (what appeared to be probably around $30,000 between both cars) for it himself, than to go through his insurance.

Hmmmm, maybe this wasn't the first time that his wreckless, ding dong daughter (or other close relative) did something this stupid.  So much for being the good samaritan, or for teaching our youth what caring about each other is all about.  Hmmpf!

-MN

Great new short-cut in Springs

This kind of thing has happened a few times.

Today, driving down Neck Path in Springs, I come to a stop at the corner of Neck and Old Stone (market on the corner) to make a left onto Old Stone.

The East End Taxi behind me bombs through the market parking lot to get ahead of me.  Not only rude but incredibly dangerous in an active parking area.

- B

Animal Cruelty at the Route 27 Mobil Station in Southampton

On a recent Sunday afternoon I was pulling into the Mobil Station on 27 from the north side of North Sea Road.

The only available pump required me to drive around the store island. As I drove around the island, a blond women in a black, CA registered, beat up, 4 Runner pulled onto the gas station, facing the same problem as I did from the other direction, she had to turn around in order to face the pump. She passed the pump preparing to do a turn around, when I pulled up at the pump just behind her after I drove around the store island.

After she saw me, she rolled down the window and gave me a fine sample of her repertoire of "f" and "a" words. I explained the situation to her, that I arrived at the gas station prior to her and moved on to fill my car. She pulled up behind the car at the pump next to me to start a conversation with the driver of the car in front of her, who quickly recommended to release the German Shepherd which was seated in the backside of her car, all of this while eying me.

Believe it or not, the women opened the door to let her German Shepherd out without a leash.

Fortunately I was done filling up my car at this point and left the gas station thinking how that poor dog must listen to that woman's foul mouth all the time.

-T

Mexican Standoff Ends In Handicapped Lady Blinking First vs Preppy Boat A-Hole

I was going to a local pizzeria during a break from work. As I was walking through the parking lot there were two cars stopped bumper to bumper and headlight to headlight.

One of the cars was a jeep liberty occupied by a very elderly handicapped lady.

The other was a Mercedes Benz driven by a forty year old man. He had the classic city boy in the Hamptons uniform on; popped collar polo shirt, shorts, boat shoes, aviator sunglasses, and too much gel in his hair.

They were both staring at each other, I looked at both and walked in between the cars. Obviously one of them was going the wrong way and that made them end up in this stupid situation. Instead of putting his car in reverse and backing out, the forty year old man waited for me to be about a hundred feet away.

He gets out of his car and proceeds to yell at the woman telling her she doesn't know how to drive.

The old lady put her car in reverse and backed up.

It took all my power not do a one eighty run, the hundred feet, grab this guy by his head, and smash his face on the roof of his car. Lucky for him I have to pass strict background checks for the agencies I am applying to and assault is a disqualifying offense.

- Frank