Mexican Standoff Ends In Handicapped Lady Blinking First vs Preppy Boat A-Hole

I was going to a local pizzeria during a break from work. As I was walking through the parking lot there were two cars stopped bumper to bumper and headlight to headlight.

One of the cars was a jeep liberty occupied by a very elderly handicapped lady.

The other was a Mercedes Benz driven by a forty year old man. He had the classic city boy in the Hamptons uniform on; popped collar polo shirt, shorts, boat shoes, aviator sunglasses, and too much gel in his hair.

They were both staring at each other, I looked at both and walked in between the cars. Obviously one of them was going the wrong way and that made them end up in this stupid situation. Instead of putting his car in reverse and backing out, the forty year old man waited for me to be about a hundred feet away.

He gets out of his car and proceeds to yell at the woman telling her she doesn't know how to drive.

The old lady put her car in reverse and backed up.

It took all my power not do a one eighty run, the hundred feet, grab this guy by his head, and smash his face on the roof of his car. Lucky for him I have to pass strict background checks for the agencies I am applying to and assault is a disqualifying offense.

- Frank

Line Vigilante Needed In East Hampton CVS

I was in the CVS in East Hampton the other day, waiting patiently in line. When this older (had to be) city couple came up and stood right at the counter behind the person that was being helped.

So I leaned in and said, "The line is over here!"

So they look at me like I have ten heads and say, "Well why would the line be over there? How is anybody supposed to know that. That is stupid."

So I say "Well that is the way it has always been in this store!"

Not the best rude story, could have been a lot worse. It is just the intro to the summer. And I will NOT keep my mouth shut!

- BF

Viagra Vic and Bottle Blonde Demand Right Of Way

With my small dog in my arms and my big dog on her leash, we came to the side of a driveway on Georgica Road in East Hampton.

Just as the gates were opening, a silver Jaguar, with a male driver of the same hair color and a bottle blonde at his side, emerged.

Rather than motion us "Come on," he put up his hand and told us to "Stop."

When will this kind of newcomer realize that his cheap trophy wife, money, deer fences, privacy hedges, and electric gates does not him a gentleman make.

- M

Learning right from left in East Hampton

I'm born and bred in East Hampton, but have been living for about a year in rural Nova Scotia. (Where strangers call you "dear," and always wave other cars into the flow of traffic, and actually smile at you and say "hi" on the sidewalk. Yeah, kind of like people did here 30 years ago....) Anyway, I've gotten totally unaccustomed to the insane, insane, blood-pressure-raising rudeness of home.

This morning, I had an encounter with such gratuitous meanness and rudeness that it almost gave me a heart attack! In the past, I've often been a customer at a local printing store. (Okay. Guess what? The shop's name is Montauk Printing. In East Hampton, on the Reutershan parking lot.) This morning, the sun was shining, there were no crowds in town, and I was  in a great mood. Then I went into Montauk Printing to buy some paper.

I walked in, picked up a pack of paper, put it on the counter, and  -- in order to free my hand to get at my wallet in my purse -- placed a cup of coffee onto the counter top. "GET THAT OFF MY COUNTER" shrieked the owner, leaping towards me. She didn't say this in any kind of joking way. She didn't say this in any kind of explanatory way. She said it in the infuriated, correctional tone a prison guard would use when correcting the behavior of a convicted murderer who had put his hand on the prison fence.

Because I've become totally unaccustomed to inexplicable, mindless rudeness and meanness, I was very meek and mild and apologetic. "I'm sorry," I simpered, and took the coffee cup off the counter as quickly as humanly possible. (The coffee cup wasn't dripping or anything whatsoever. But I guess the owner doesn't want anything that might potentially leave liquid anywhere near a surface that often holds paper products, right? Unlike in other stores, where it's considered polite to place drink cups on a counter, out of harm's way, at Montauk Printing you should automatically know in advance that this is an unspeakable crime.)

The owner then explained that I had picked up the wrong kind of paper. "If you want regular paper, take the one that says 'Meteor,' on the shelf behind you, to the right, with blue and black...." So I said, "Oh, good, thanks," and stepped back to the shelf and put my hand on a blue-and-black packet of paper marked "Meteor."

"No, not that one!" she barked at me, with inexpressible force and annoyance, "the one on the RIGHT"

I shifted my hand to another packet -- also blue-and-black, also marked "Meteor" -- right next to the first one, and asked, "This one?" And she barked, with mind-boggling unnecessary nastiness: "THAT'S YOUR RIGHT, ISN'T IT??????"

Oh. My lawrd. Who talks to another human being like this? Much less a customer? I just gave a wry smile and paid and thanked her.

But WTF? If someone had behaved like this in  Nova Scotia, literally, people would think they were, literally, ill, and would be express concern, and would gather in neighborly groups to see if the crazily, inexplicably rude person
perhaps needed a doctor.

- Left for Nova Scotia

Naked and Seen at Gurney's Inn

I was enjoying a nice Christmas Eve dinner at Gurney's Inn while at a another table sat a large party with two young children.

Please note I've raised two children personally and I like kids, but....

When the father proceeded to change the little girl into her pajamas at the table in the restaurant down to her diapers I thought that was crossing the line. I realize children are no longer seen and not heard, but simply leaving the dining room to change clothes would be something simple and easy.

- The Nudist