May they be bitten by an army of ants

My family and a large group of our friends made our 3rd annual trip to Montauk (I know, not exactly the Hamptons) and observed some less than considerate behavior.

We were staying at the Royal Atlantic and watched a group of roughly 15 people pick up hotel lounge chairs, and like a well orchestrated army of ants, transport them down to the beach on their backs, in their arms , etc.

As they clogged up the entrance to the beach they could be heard commenting, "We're probably not supposed to bring these down to the beach but I saw some down here yesterday and they were back by the pool this morning."

Later on, and as I expected, most of the group marched back up to the hotel and left their Great Wall of Chairs on the beach. While a few members of the group lingered on the beach nearby, they watched two staff members make about 15 trips back and forth to the beach in 90 degree plus heat and humidity (as told to me by one of the women in my group that happened to be on her balcony overlooking the beach).

- D

Kindergarten Cops

Sitting in a popular East Hampton restaurant last night my wife and I got to watch and listen to two obnoxious young men and a young UNDERAGE woman hassle the wait staff and manager about a fake ID.

The young women produced an ID and couldn't answer a single question about her supposedly valid drivers license. She looked like she was 12. At this point the staff did the right thing and told her she wasn't going to be served.
I guess the girl was so embarrassed that she left the restaurant, but the men started to hassle the staff even more.

"Do you know who we are?" they asked.

"We came from Westhampton."

The staff made no reply and kept their composures.

Finally the rude duo left to go to another bar where they thought the would be served.

Did these idiots really think a crowded, popular E.H. restaurant would risk being fined for serving alcohol to them?  Besides I can guarantee the rest of the clientèle was relieved to not have to rub shoulders with children on their Saturday night.
- KJ

WTF on the LIRR

My friend and I were taking the train back from the city when the following conversation occurred between two gentleman a few seats ahead of us.

"Ugh...f***ing train...Y'know what I hate? Those f***ing people who sit on the f***ing trains and make out!"

"Oh- I know! They are so f***ing annoying! It's like, get a f***ing room! Who are you to disturb my f***ing train ride?"

"Y'know that f***ing column in the paper, about f***ers who f***ing piss people off in the train? We should f***ing submit our story to those f***ers."

I've probably left some choice words out, but, needless to say, my friend and I were flabbergasted. Disturb your ride? How dare they!

-S

Your horn might cause my car to disappear

On my way out to the Hamptons last Friday I stopped for gas in Manorville. As Mobil was jam packed with cars I opted for 7-11 thinking I would gas up quickly and be on my way.

I pulled up to the 2nd pump and began to fill up. The car ahead of me was also gassing up. When I was done and ready to go I saw that I could not pull forward as the car ahead had still not completed his gas transaction. My only option then would be to throw the car in reverse and back out. However, when I checked my rear view I noticed a rather expensive car had backed the rear of his car inches away from me, trapping me at the 7-11 gas pump.

How pray tell did he think any of us were going to escape?

So though I hate the horn, I gave it a tap and waited. Nothing happened. Well what course of action did I have but to put the car in reverse and be ready to move? It seemed to work wonders because said expensive car charged away with lightning speed allowing me to reverse and be on my way.

So at least the debacle ended quickly and with no further calamities.

-Trapped at 7-11

Aggressive territorial behavior at Indian Wells

My wife and I were enjoying a day at Indian Wells last summer. After walking down to the left of the ABA beach club we sat down with about a ten foot buffer zone around our two chairs and umbrella. We weren't on waterfront beach property about three rows back from the shoreline.

At someone point a few people showed up and sat down in our buffer zone. They were loud and broke out some beer from their cooler.

Next thing we know about ten other people show up. They proceeded to wedge themselves into the space around us.

At one point a woman sitting behind my wife started moving my wife's beach chair with her feet. She called her out on it. To this she said, "Sorry."

I headed down for a dunk in the ocean. I came back and some toolbox was now sitting on one of our towels proceeding to try and hit on my wife. She sent him packing, but he didn't get off the towel. That changed when I returned.

- Surrounded by idiots