Welcome my son, welcome to the machine

Yesterday I needed to get a fruit basket as a thank you gift for the host of a bridal shower. I stopped in Citarella's looking for the elusive fruit basket.

Mass chaos - no fruit baskets to be found

I decided that I'd get a cup of coffee instead and leave.

At this point I'm near the exit and there is a line of shoppers with carts running down into the aisle. I walked up to a man and asked if he would move his cart so I could get back to the coffee near the entrance of the store.

He turns to me and says, "No, I'm a very busy man."

I'm not entirely sure what exactly that has to do with moving a cart to let me slide through.

My solution: walk out the exit and walk back in the entrance.

As I was leaving I noticed another man with ~six shopping carts full of food. I guess he thought he ordered on FreshDirect because he was becoming irate when he found out he actually had to stand on line to check out all the items.

- Still looking for my fruit basket

Oops I Forgot My Eye Patch

This is not a rude posting, more a odd posting.

Maybe a new trend is starting, but Friday night at Cittanuova we saw a lady walk up with a large parrot on her shoulder.

Are parrots the new pocket book dogs?

Should we expect Paris Hilton to have her own parrot soon.

Stay tuned, we'll keep an eye on this minor trend.

Maybe it'll go the pirate route.
The Editor

The Impatient Idiot at Waldbaums

So I'm on my 1/2 hour lunch break and I go to Waldbaums. After getting a sandwich, a snack, and a drink, I get in the self-checkout line. I happen to see my sister in one line and a customer of mine in another (my witnesses). So now it’s my turn. I scan my items and hit the pay button. A lady begins getting nasty with me demanding, "Do you think you could move your stuff?"

I answered with a raise brow, "I have to pay first."

She yells back to me, "Well, ya think you could move your stuff so I can start scanning?"

Speaking slowly so this idiot understands, I reply, "I can't remove my stuff until I pay. And you can't scan 'til I move my stuff."

She huffs in anger and goes to a cashier line embarrassed by her stupidity. My sister, my customer, and I look at each other. "My god, what an idiot", one of them replies. "Doesn't she think how long we've been waiting?" Says another.

It’s great to have witnesses to this kind of stupidity.

-J

Where's the Kinko's?

Someone comes into my store asking some questions like where to eat, and how to get around. "Is there a Kinko's around here?" she asks.

"No." I reply. Hearing about this place but not remembering what service the place provides I ask, "What is a Kinko's?" hoping to be able to provide her with similar service. My co-workers all say, "Yeah, what is a Kinko's?"

Shocked by our lack of knowledge of this service provider she says, "WHAT? You don't know what a Kinko's is? How cute!!!!" She goes on saying someting..small town..coutry..isolated..

I swear if I weren't working I would have asked/said things like "Oh you've never been to a beach? Never seen snow? Seen real wild whales? Had a LI iced tea?"

You get the idea. How rude!!!

-J

Rude Hamptons Vocabulary

We want to wish everyone a Happy Holiday and Happy New Year.

The Rude Hamptons are in the process of collecting the Rude Hamptons Vocabulary list.

Cit-idiot - Idiot from the city

Tour-on - Moron tourist

Please share your vocabulary words in the comments below.

Thanks