Monday, August 19, 2013

iPad Leads to iHex On Our Marriage

I have to say that in all the time that I have gone out to montauk the bake shoppe was the best! So when my husband and I decided to get married in Montauk it was only natural that we had the Bake Shoppe make our wedding cake. After meeting the owners for our consultation I couldn't have been more happy and excited that they were going to make the cake of my dreams! 

The day before our wedding my husband went to the bake shoppe for some treats and asked about the cake. With a surprised look on his face the owner said one minute, walked away and came back with the original receipt with the $500 cash deposit attached to it. He told my husband that it was being worked on and it was to early to look at it. (I'll give them that since it was the day before).

Well our day was finally here, I couldn't wait to see the cake it was the only thing we couldn't see till the day of. 

WELL I saw the cake and it honestly disappointed me greatly. Apparently the surprised look on the owner's face when my husband asked about it was because they completely forgot about it. It looked thrown together. I wish I had the pictures with me to post. It looked like a kindergarten class had put it together and that's being nice. 

In all the cost of the cake was $990 dollars for 65 people. I was not even worth the deposit that was left. My husband and I went to the back shoppe the next day to discuss it with them and to my surprise they were so rude. (I was actually told by the restaurant we were married in that they are known for that). 

I simply didn't feel the cake they presented was worth the $990 we had paid and wanted to see how they were going to take care of this. Well I was greeted with yelling, cursing and being blamed for their employees not being paid if I didn't pay full price for the cake etc... 

She said the cake left fine and it all must have happened after it was delivered. The owner even said she had pictures of it on her iPad. Well when we looked at the pictures and I took her iPad and zoomed in on them she was clearly able to see what we were talking about. 

She gave me my check back and only took the deposit as payment, which after their treatment was too much. She rudely told me she wishes us nothing but unhappiness and an ill marriage and to go F ourselves. 

Nice customer service!!!!!!! 

I have never walked into the shoppe again and am very happy 7-11 came to town!!!!! They now get all my coffee business. Gurney's bake shoppe would be my recommendation.
- S

Sunday, August 18, 2013

Should I Clean Out Your Septic Tank Too?

After a storm: Could you check my house and make sure the trees / pool / deck furniture are ok? Could you go inside and be sure the pipes didn't freeze/the heat or ac is on? 

During the week: Could you take in my packages/newspapers/mail? I only come out on weekends. 

Any day: Could you accept a delivery for me at your house and bring it to mine? Could you let the plumber/ painter/housekeeper /electrician in? If you see my loose dog running around, I'm out to dinner/lunch/shopping, so could you grab him/her, put on a leash and bring him home/keep him/her at YOUR house until I get home?

Yes, we live here year-round. Yes, we are friendly with all our neighbors. And we don't mind doing things for our CLOSE friends or in an emergency ... but we are NOT your unpaid house-watchers. 

There are a lot of folks who DO that for a living out here BECAUSE there are so many weekenders/vacationers/summer folks ... so FIND one and PAY them to be sure your stuff is done. I HAVE a job and a family and a house to take care of and YOU are  NOT part of that trio!

- The Watcher

Saturday, August 17, 2013

Self-Checkout Needs Self-Help

Woman uses self-checkout register in Waldbaums

Keeps dropping things or screwing things up. 

VERY sweet polite employee says GENTLY to the woman, "it's OK, just take your time"...and the woman yells back "Don't SCOLD me or tell me what to do." 

I told the employee, "Guess we know someone who got out of the wrong side of bed this morning."

Believe me, normally I would have said something to the RUDE customer, but she looked like she'd bite the head off anyone who said "Boo" to her.

- T

Friday, August 16, 2013

Thelma And Her Sound Track

Princess in white E350 convertible, top down, drives up to Pike's Farm stand in Sagaponack music blaring. Gets out of car and proceeds to shop while leaving music blasting for all to hear. 

Sweetheart, your taste in music sucks, number one. 

And two, it isn't for everyone else to  hear. Please discover ear buds and/or the off button.

- R

Thursday, August 15, 2013

Missy Misses Your Taillights

I was parked in the back of the hardware store in Sag Harbor the other day when a local guy in a pick-up pulled into the spot next to mine.  I was getting into my car to leave when I noticed that a very new and expensive vehicle had stopped - blocking both myself and the pick-up truck in, and positioned on a diagonal to stop both lanes of traffic on the road that runs behind the village (this is a critical route if you know Sag!) 

The female driver gets out of the car, indignant, and starts yelling at the pick-up truck, "You have no tail lights! You could have backed right into me!! I couldn't see you!!" 

The pick-up driver just sat in his car laughing. I said to her "Do you mind moving your car?" 

"Well he doesn't have any taillights!!" said she, while traffic was backing up in both directions. 

I replied "I know, I heard - but do you see how you are blocking everyone right now? You could pull out of the way to tell him, if you are having a problem." 

She didn't like that at all. She continued her rant.  "Put yourself in my shoes, missy!!" was her parting shot. Missy happens to be my nick-name, but that's beside the point. She said it with a lower case "m".


Elizabeth (aka Missy)

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Drafting At The Emergency Room

Hostess volunteered to drive me to ER (rather than get an ambulance)

She wanted ER doctor to diagnose and treat the rash on her arm for FREE before casting my broken leg.

- Broken In SH

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Sunday, August 11, 2013

Space Invaders at LT Burger

To the person who sat next to us in LT Burger tonight (Sunday the 4th): 

HELLO, stay in your space! 

My poor hubby could not even pick up his hamburger because you were playing with your little girl and literally IN HIS seating area! 

Yes, it's a tight restaurant, but if she sat in the child's chair they brought you and NOT on your chair WITH you, you wouldn't be practically in my hubby's lap!

- TS

Saturday, August 10, 2013

Citizens On Poop Patrol

A few years back, a coworker and I were eating egg sandwiches at Long Beach before work. 2 guys pulled up in their new BMW and got out about to take a run. They have a dog with them which then takes a huge dump on the beach.  

The boys watch, but don't clean it up. 

I ask if they are going to take care of it and one of them tells me to mind my own business and run off. I then took the plastic bag from my sandwich and pick up the dog crap.  I smeared it all over all the door handles of the car. 

As we left, we dove by the boys I told them to have a nice day!!

- J

Friday, August 9, 2013

First Rule of Pie Club

My mother and I  took a walk from our August rental place to the Saturday Sag Harbor Farmers' market. We are enthusiastic patrons and we made numerous purchases of the usual goodies. 

At our final stop at one of the flower vendors, we noticed this  ONE and ONLY wonderful looking tomato pie. My mother, curious about the pie, proceeded to ask the vendor about the ingredients. At the same time, a woman was finishing her purchase, so we were waiting patiently when all of a sudden the patron said, "Give me that too"- pointing at the remaining pie. After leaving, the vendor said she only wanted that pie because we noticed it. 

We hope that this woman and others like her remember to bring their manners with them to the market and everywhere else.

- Lost My Pie

Thursday, August 8, 2013

Contractor Shimsham Technique #1

As contractor in the Hamptons it's common for homeowners to try to hire my subs to do extra work so they don't have to pay a little extra for me to oversee the job.

The other common thing is to have work done for an agreed price they give themselves a little tip by leaving off three or four hundred on the last check for some invented infraction. Knowing your not going to take them to court for it.

- P

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Five Second Rule With Handicap Parking

Blond drives up in Porsche in front of Dreesen's in East Hampton and asks the traffic officer how long she could park in handicap spot with no sticker.

- J

To The Bat Tent Let's Go

My ex-wife and I were camping at Cedar Point Park a few years ago when a new BMW pulled in and a couple got out and pitched their $29.95 tent. They went in and after a few minutes they came out in evening wear. 

I often wonder if they represent most of the rude Hamptons visitors.

- Ben

Sunday, August 4, 2013

Potty Training In Amagansett

The actions of some summer visitors is not new to our hamlets. 

About 15 years ago, we owned and operated a store in Amagansett, near 'One Stop Pet Shop' and early on one Sunday morning at about 11 am a large black shinning new Mercedes drives into our parking lot and parks across from our stores. The drivers side door opens and a gentleman looks out and around but didn't notice me standing in my doorway 'smoking at that time.' 

I then see him take out two large white bags, look around again, he tosses them underneath the bushes in front of his car and then proceeds into the Pet Shop. I walked up to his car, looked under the bushes and pulled out two large McDonalds bags filled with leftovers of malts, parts of hamburgers, fries and other goodies. 

I had seen that he left his drivers side window open and so I took the bags, ripped then open and shook the entire contents into and all around the inside of his new car!   

It looked like a Jackson Pollock painting!  

I went back to my doorway and waited, he comes out of the Pet Shop, points his clicker and his trunk pops open, he places his packages in the back, closes the trunk, walks around, opens his door and freezes in shock!  he looked around and spotted me standing there and asked "do you know anything about this?" I just stated that I thought it was amazing that people leave the city where it's dirty with garbage everywhere and they come out here to this heavenly place and begin to make it look like the place they wanted to get away from for the weekend. Even though he knew I did it, he never said another word, he just cleaned up what he could, got in and drove away.

- K-Man

Saturday, August 3, 2013

Triple Play at the American Hotel

I was waiting for my husband at The American Hotel, while waiting three women walk in, butt ahead of me, look at me, shrug their shoulders and say:  "She's a dyke."  and roll their eyes.  It would not matter if I was or not, but I had just finished chemo treatment for breast cancer and had no hair.