Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Puppy Poop and Profanities In Your Own Backyard

I have a story for you.

Last weekend (Labor Day Weekend) my husband was outside in our yard walking our 10 week old puppy. Of course, like puppies do, he peed and pooped.

A car came screaming down our short dead end road, turned around in MY driveway, then had the nerve to stop and ask my husband if he was going to "clean" up after his dog.

Ummmm, 1st off, it's our yard, of course we are. 2nd, it's none of your business.

The passenger in the car proceeded to YELL at my husband because he said, "It's my yard, it's ok."

She screamed profanities at my husband and then had the nerve to ask, "is this what you teach your son?" (oh, yeah, my 8 year old son was outside to).

They then sped off down the road. We then decided to take a walk only to run into this obnoxious couple forcing other people to hurry up and get up from a table in front of the Golden Pear in Bridgehampton. My husband just smiled at them and said "have a good day."

Some people are so rude.

- VT

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Hamptons Driving Guide

I work for a reputable company and I travel alot between the "Hamptons" from Remsemburg to Wainscott.

I've seen the worst of the worst.

Remsemburg, people with their "25 mph slow down Remsemburg" bumper stickers driving 45 on Main street and then yelling and cursing at me because I'm doing...yes you guessed it...25mph...

Next up is Westhampton/Westhampton Beach...yes it is a Hampton and I actually live in WHB...there's numerous things I can write here...from the bikers on Dune road to the people not knowing how to park on Main street...yes the Waldbaums has the worst parking lot ever...

Yo the "dog morning walkers" taking up all of Main street...

Next is Quogue...please pull over to the side of the road when you're on your little bike rides...I'm trying to work - driving everywhere and you're riding your bike in the middle of the street doesn't help me...

Seriously do I need to talk about Southampton or East Hampton hahaha...

Anyways you get my point...these citiots need to learn how to drive when they come from the city to visit their summer weekend homes...if it wasn't for these people I wouldn't have a job..but please work with us people..were just trying to work out there...

- DP

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Privateers take to the roads in Sag Harbor

The hurry that people have while driving still makes me crazy with Hamptons drivers.

This weekend I had the pleasure of being passed while doing 30 in a 25 in the middle of town on Sagg road/Madison street.

To the middle age idiot driving the vet, your car sucks so much, please we are not impressed.

Now for the Audi A7 who blew the stop sing at Main and Madison then honked and flipped me off, his wife did too.

First off, very classy, second perhaps a course in drivers ed would do you some good.

When you have a stop sign here is a hint, stop.

When the on coming lane has the right away, let them go.

Flooring your car, driving at them and flipping them off while you honk shows you have no idea how to drive or read road signs.

As for the rude girl next to you, f-off, your fat.

- EB

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Horses' Asses Among The Guests At The Hampton Classic

So my husband and I decided to take a trip out to the Hampton Classic on Saturday so that our son can take part in the Kid's Day activities.

We knew going in that there would be snooty people, elitists, and citiots, but we wanted to check it out and at least put the experience of going under our belt.

I think next year there should be a etiquette seminar for those in the aforementioned categories.

Of course, the most efficient means to get from point A to point B is a straight line, however, if such a route is blocked by a perpendicular line (points C and D) of people waiting at a food kiosk, the common sense approach would be to say "excuse me" when you opt to take advantage of the 2 foot break between person 5 and person 6 who are standing on the point C and point D line.

After about the 5th non-gracious offender anytime a person attempted to bust their way through, I put my foot in the way.

- JB

Monday, September 13, 2010

Amex Black Card Holders Poor Patrons and Tippers

Try working in a restaurant all summer and dealing w/ these people and they are still here!

They send everything back because they don't want to pay for it and then hand you an American Express Black card and tip next to nothing!

- KH

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Victoria's Secret Isn't So Secret in Bridgehampton

Why do some people think it's ok to go out in public in their pajamas?

So, I was in line at Rite Aid in Bridgehampton last night, repulsed by a lady in her well-worn pajamas and bedroom slippers.

It's obvious she has not changed out of them in days and just threw on a funky hoodie.

It is rude to mingle in public places in your intimate clothing, period.

- SG

Saturday, September 11, 2010

WTF is up with that?

I have witnessed some pretty rude treatment of our animal friends in the Hamptons:

You wouldn't put your toddler or best friend in the back of an open pickup truck....why put your dog in that kind of danger?

How about the guy who ran into my vet's office with his injured dog who said he put his dog in the back of the truck and the dog saw a squirrel and jumped out. (duh) Instinct will take over.

Imagine when you stop suddenly and your dog flies out of the truck, or worse, you run over your own dog.

I've heard of that happening. It's called centrifical force.

How about when people leave their dogs to bake in an oven called their car?

Anyone noticed the carnage on the road? There is a lot of animal traffic on our roads.  Where's the fire? Slow down folks, these are country roads.

Is it just me or is there a tailgating epidemic these days.

I work in a retail store and we have our very own reality show out the window.

One of the many rude things we witness regularly are the folks who pull up and park in the handicapped space and then get out and walk away looking perfectly healthy.

Not cool.

One day recently two customers came in and said that someone had purposely hit their car to keep them from getting into a parking space.

Then there's the guy who owns his very own traffic cone and uses it to save himself a parking spot.

We also had a customer who said that if we didn't immediately produce a missing part to the chair he bought he would throw it through our glass storefront.

My friendly farm stand guy says that people pull up right in front of the door, blocking everyone else from entering and shout out to him from the window without getting out, "Gimme this and gimme that." They expect him to go to and from the car to deliver the fruits and vegetables and collect money and then return with change.

Ever notice people literally standing dangerously close to the road (with their kids) to feed the swans in the East Hampton pond?

Is it just me or does common sense go out the window?

- Is it just me?

Friday, September 10, 2010

Who's Really In The Driver's Seat?

I was at the Driver's Seat in Southampton and some guy had his little dog and was told to take the dog away, he said it was an 'aid dog', yea right.

An his wife complained how 'hard' the tomatoes were. I thought they were great.

- X

Biker Gets Citidiot Escort Down Bluff Road

Two days ago me and my dad had come back from a long day of surfing, some lady was on Bluff road in Amagansett in the middle of the road on her bike.

My dad gave the car in front of us a little honk. Then we noticed that the car was with the biker, we where stuck behind them all the way to the skate park.

City people suck, can't wait for school and cityidots to leave.

- BL

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Wannabe Escalade Pickup Passes On the Left Hand Side

So, I'm driving to work this morning on Route 27 as I do every day from the monument in Bridgehampton going East.

Usually everyone is very careful to abide by the 20mph speed limit as they pass the Bridgehampton School.

Not today... a guy in his Escalade pickup honks and point at the upcoming 30 mph sign and then passes me on the left, crossing over the double yellow line. He speeds ahead (while on his cellphone) and I get a thrill when I catch up to him seconds later, at a dead stop at the red light.

Seriously, what's the point?

- Shop Girl

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Ulysses S. Grant subs in for Ben Franklin

I bartended a party in Southampton, for some very wealthy people. The party was about 6 hours. I was tipped $50 dollars!!!!

Cheap Bastard!!!


This reminds me of a personal favorite Rude Hamptons story - Georgi Vodka Beats Ketel One In Blind Taste Test

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Who asked who for directions

I worked for a utility company before I retired. My work area was from the canal to Montauk.

I was reading a message by the side of the road in Bridgehampton when a Mercedes pulled up and the woman behind the wheel rolled down her window and asked where Mecox rd was.

I told her to go to the end of Halsey lane and Mecox Rd would there. She said no it's not and I shouldn't be working for a utility if I didn't know how to direct her to Mecox Rd. With that she drove off toward Southampton.

- BD

Friday, September 3, 2010

Lifeguards help pigs in addition to saving people in East Hampton

This just happened this morning at my favorite beach in East Hampton.

I was down at the beach for an early morning walk, then went over to the outdoor shower to rinse myself off.

In front of me was a man, who was locked in the shower stall with his small and very hairy dog, and he proceeded to spend 15 minutes in there - washing and de-fleaing his dog!!! He pulled clump after clump of thick, smelly dog fur and just threw it on the floor of the shower, including covering the drain with the thick balls of fur mottled with fleas.

After they finally emerged, I went into the shower, picked up a clump of the wet dog fur and shouted over to the man "hey dude, you forgot something in here!"

I walked over and tried to hand him the clump of dog fur, and he looked horrified and refused to take it and asked me what MY problem was!

I said the problem was actually his, because he was using a shower made for people to rinse off from the beach, not dogs, and that he left the shower in disgraceful condition.

All he did was shrug and say that "someone will come & clean it up, they do every day" - and when I asked who he thought "they" were, he said "the Lifeguards, right?"

I thought the lifeguards were there to save lives and provide emergency assistance, but according to this douchebag Lifeguards are really there to clean the showers after pigs like him use it


Horny Bird Flashes Woman In Sag Harbor

I was driving to Sag Harbor for the weekend with a couple of friends.

All of a sudden, a LAMBORGHINI was on my a**...he continually was honking his horn & flashing his headlights.

He drove around me, while continuing to flash his lights/honking his horn... Gave me a BIRD, how sweet!

Where did he think he was??

In Germany, on the AUTOBAHN???

- EP

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Soup Nazi's Brother Caught Buying Soup in Southampton

I am glad I am not the only one who is offended by this prevalent & increasing rudeness.

Here' my most recent story.

I was in Southampton in the Health Food Store. A man infront of me had bought soup. He paid in cash, got his change and asked for a spoon.

The cashier handed him a spoon and he said, "Are your hands clean?"

She looked puzzled and he continued, "Have you washed your hands?"

She answered, "Yes..."

I'm thinking he's just handled US currency and he's worried about his spoon...

- A

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Honk If You Like the Bird In Sag Harbor

I was driving down main street in Sag Harbor and stopped to let parents who were carrying a baby go across the legal crosswalk.

Suddenly a man (if you want to call him that) in a BMW convertible goes around me and gives me the finger when I honk at him.

By the way, he nearly hit the poor family.

I took his plate # and called the S.H. police to let them know about it.

Sag Harbor needs summer TCO's to help with their traffic situation on main street and the 6 way stops by the wharf and bridge area.  East Hampton has TCO's everywhere.

Oh, and by the way, if everyone would just stop tailgating there would be no gridlock either.

- CP