Friday, May 29, 2009

Park It Like It's Hot

Usually I do not like to stereotype tourists out here. I grew up out here and know that some tourists are nice and some locals are jerks. Just like all populations, there are always a few bad apples.

I'm getting really annoyed though. Yesterday I was on the wharf in Sag Harbor when I watched as 4 twentysomethings parked their car in an area that not only was not a parking spot but also was an obstacle to cars trying to leave the

Now, most people would have realized from the honking and astonished stares that SOMETHING just wasn't right here. Nope, they get out and start to walk away. I decide to say (nicely too, giving them the benefit of th doubt that they didn't realize their error) "Hey, that isn't a parking spot" which they laugh at and keep walking.

WTF? I hope their car got a ticket and a boot. Just because this is the 'country' doesn't mean you can break the law. Some people here have jobs and places to be, have some respect!

- Annoyed K

Monday, May 25, 2009

Royal Pains In My Butt

Don’t bother coming out to the Hamptons for Mother’s day, the beach is closed. At least it was today for the USA Networks production Royal Pains.

And what a pain it is. At the End of Ocean Rd. in Bridgehampton I was turned away from an evening walk on the beach.

“WE ARE LOCKED DOWN!” a lady yelped at me with authority as I walked to towards the sand. Apparently this lingo should mean something to me. She saw the confused look on my face,

“Oh, you are not with us”

“ah, no maam.” I replied timidly.

"Well you can't go there, THE BEACH IS CLOSED!”

Well I’ll be darned.

I didn’t think they could close the beach.

- TH

Friday, May 22, 2009

Touch my toilet paper and I'll beat your ass, even if you're a child

No parent should ever, ever experience a complete stranger causing any level of harm to their child, but unfortunately we experienced such an event Thursday, May 21st at Waldbaums on Newtown Lane between 6 and 6:30pm. While checking out my groceries with my daughter in the cart, a lady behind us was behaving oddly, raising her arms up and sighing exaggeratingly since we were taking a while (I had quite the cart full), and my 3 year old was hungry and tired after a long day in the sun, causing her to whine and rub her eyes in a normal, preschooler way.

When my daughter reached over and touched her toilet paper (since the lady didn't use a divider, my daughter assumed it was ours), the woman snapped and smackes my daughter in the arm by the wrist. Shocked, my child pulled away, holding her arm and staring at her without a word, and chaos ensued as I stepped in and asked her What in the holy hell she was thinking laying a hand my daughter.

Words were exchanged and the manager stepped in to diffuse the situation, and along with our cashier she handled it in an absolutely amazing manner of grace and charm which I am ever so grateful for, keeping my daughter occupied and telling me it will be alright, while I was shaking too hard to even swipe my debit card properly. My husband and I then rushed our children to our truck, but the woman fled before I returned to call the police. All we have now is a desciption of who appeared to be the Crypt keepers Wife in a gaudy black hat with white zebra stripes who possibly lives off of goats blood, has an amazing affinity for toilet paper and a violently predatory urge to hurt children.

I would of (and regretfully should of) kept the woman at the store until the proper authorities arrived, but as a mother, I was so overwhelmed with shock and rage at her actions, I now only regret that I was unable to see her odd behavior before the assault as a warning to protect my child from her in the first place. It's now 7am the following day and I am still at a loss as visions of my daughter holding her arm and widening her eyes in fear and hurt played through my head all night, though everyone who has so far heard what happened from both myself and others in the store have been amazingly supportive in telling me I restrained myself well, and how as parents they would of retaliated in the same way if not worse. If a cart wasn't between us we would probably both be eating our breakfast in jail. That is a fact I am sure any parent can relate to.

Moral of the story: Now that Summer has officially begun with Memorial Day Weekend arriving, please, everyone needs to keep in mind what kind of unstable people can appear around here. Even if they claim to of been here all year long people are still able to transform themselves into complete animals at any age. Keep your children close, and if this ever happens to you and your child please, notify the authorities immediately no matter how shocking and enraging it feels. Men and women like her do indeed exist, running loose until they hit the next child and are unable to escape the wrath of the protective parent and police afterwards.

- EM