Friday, May 30, 2008

Get your own Rude Hamptons Bumper Sticker

My new shipment of bumper stickers came in so now you can get your own. It's really easy.

1. Submit a rude story with a postal address and I'll send you two. An extra for a friend.

2. Stop by one of my specially designated locations and ask for one.

This week stop by Sams in East Hampton. Be sure to ask for Graham and order a pizza to go.

The Editor

Monday, May 26, 2008

Stiletto Heeled Illegal Dumper

My wife and I were walking to CittaNuova on Sunday night and spied a woman in an expense short dress and 4 inch stiletto heels carrying what seemed to be a bag of trash.

I bet my wife wife five dollars that she was going to throw that out in the trashcans at the Hampton Market Place aka Schmidt's aka Chicken House.

Sure enough she dumps her small bag of trash and sashays back to her felony crib on Church Street.

- The Editor

PS - It is illegal to throw out your household garbage in town or private trash cans.

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Dirty Look or Get It In The Rear

I moved here full-time in January after having worked in Southampton Village last summer.

So I am not a native, but I am a year-round local these days.

So, I'm going to complain like a local.

On the way to the beach today, the Sunday before Memorial Day, I was driving straight north on Springville Road in Hampton Bays when someone trying to cut me off gives me a nasty look.

I had the right of way, this car full of girls decides she was going to make a left right in front of me. When she realized I wasn't stopping to let her go, she stopped half way through her turn, creating an awkward and dangerous traffic situation.

If I did stop to let her go, I probably would have been rear-ended, because it's not like I was at a stop sign or traffic light.

The audacity that she could give me such a disgusted look when she's the one not following traffic laws and risking an accident really pissed me off. And I have a feeling that this will be my first of many incidents with weekenders this summer. Hopefully, none of them end in a collision.

-HB Guy

Friday, May 23, 2008

Assertiveness Training

I am a local from Water Mill but now go to school in the city. I go to Citarella when I'm home and if any of the city people try to cut me I tell them to go fu*k themselves. When I used to live out there full time and work the summer jobs I would take shit like a slave, you locals need to stop bitching and step it up.

All the people who come out there are p*ssies they aren't going to fight you-you just need to let them know.

Cromers is the worst because everyone has a hard time figuring out the rocket science that is line formation- and I always see locals getting pushed around in there then crying about it outside. If you continue to let them keeping cutting you, guess what they are going to just keep cutting they don't give a sh!t.


Local - send me your address and I’ll send you a bumper sticker - The Editor

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Pesky Local Teens Ruin City People's Good Times

So i've lived in East hampton all my life, and I have had my fair share of rude city people over my 15 years.

One day me and all of my friends were standing around in town and there was a party in one of the shops. my friend goes running by and accidentally kicks a glass of wine over. (that was sitting on the curb) I walk by politely and some city person looks over and practically yells how rude the locals were and that I should clean it up...first off we are outside. like what the hell you kidding me?

Also, what annoys the hell out of me, is that city people think that they own us. Sure they may have houses all over the world, but you are no better than us.

You come to OUR town, invade OUR space, respect the locals or you aren't getting anything back.

- Local Girl

Local Girl - send me your address and I'll send you a bumper sticker - The Editor

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Who's really King at King Kullen?

I was in Bridgehampton at King Kullen. It was a Saturday in the middle of the summer...I was standing in line and said something to the cashier like "I need to remember to shop on weekdays instead of the weekends because there are so many people that come here for just the weekend in the summer. I'm just so used to shopping on the weekends like I do in the winter."

And I was just kind of saying it as one local to another.

But then I heard the lady behind me say "Yeah...We (meaning people from the city) really wish you'd shop during the week days too."

I thought she was joking! But when I turned around she was totally serious...! I didn't know what to do! It was ridiculous.

- Sharon